If Ne-Yo sang about it, then you know it’s a serious love problem! Yes, we have those moments stemming from high emotion or even out of nowhere, where you wonder, ‘Does my ex still think of me?’
First, you should know that it is totally valid to have these kinds of thoughts. Whether you just broke up or it’s been years since you said goodbye, that thought can appear out of reminiscing or out of nowhere.
Second thing, ‘Does my ex still think of me?’ is not a bad question to ask. Maybe you need closure, maybe you need to know that the time you had meant something to both of you, or maybe you’re thinking of reaching out but need some reassurance that you can. Whatever the reason, it’s not a bad thought.
Third, you’re curious about whether your ex still thinks of you, but probably do not want to ask directly. That’s why you’re here. Asking your ex directly is probably something you’re not ready for. It’s understandable because it often means starting a whole thing.
So, this is the next best thing— watching out for cues and clues. Maybe you’ve been looking, maybe not. Either way, here are 7 subtle clues you may have missed when battling with the question, ‘Does my ex still think of me?’
Even if they’re not texting you “I miss you” every night, there are sneaky little signs that they are still hung up on you. Here are seven big ones to watch for:
If your ex keeps bringing up inside jokes, old memories, or even just random “remember when…” moments, that’s not an accident. Nostalgia is a dead giveaway that they’re still stuck on you. People don’t reminisce about the past unless it’s still on their mind—a lot.
Your ex is not just being friendly—they’re low-key missing what you had. Maybe they text you something like, “Hey, just heard our song, lol.” That’s not casual. That’s them testing.
Example: Let’s say you dated someone who suddenly starts posting old pics of you two on their Close Friends story. Or they randomly mention that trip you took together. That’s not “just memories”—that’s them saying “I still think about you” without actually saying it.
If your ex’s squad suddenly knows way too much about your life—like your new job, your latest Instagram post, or even that you went on a date—your ex is definitely still keeping tabs. Friends don’t stalk your socials for fun. Your ex is talking about you.
You will notice that their friends might “accidentally” drop hints like “Oh, I heard you got a promotion!” How? It is because your ex is keeping up with you and can’t help but gossip.
Example: Imagine running into your ex’s bestie, and they say, “How is your new job treating you?” But you just started last week. Suspicious? Yeah. That info didn’t magically teleport to them—your ex noticed and talked about it.
If your ex is still texting your sister, liking your mom’s posts, or randomly asking your best friend how you’re doing, they’re not over you.
People don’t stay connected to an ex’s inner circle unless they’re hoping for… something. By staying cool with your people, they’re making sure they don’t fully disappear from your life.
Example: Your brother mentions, “Oh, Jake asked about you the other day.” Why? Because Jake misses you and is too scared to reach out himself. If they really didn’t care, they wouldn’t bother checking in.
Birthdays are easy—Facebook and Google remind everyone. But if your ex remembers your random stuff—like your coffee order, some strange holiday only you celebrate, or that weird fear of balloons—they’re still holding onto those little details. And that means they’re still holding onto you.
You see, memory is tied to emotion. If they recall tiny things nobody else would, it’s because they can’t forget you.
Example: They text you on the anniversary of your first date (not your birthday) or bring up that one time you cried at a rom-com. That’s not normal post-breakup behavior. That’s “I still think about you more than I should.”
Ever notice your ex suddenly listening to your favorite band, watching your favorite show, or even eating at your go-to restaurant? Yeah, that’s not a coincidence. When someone misses you, they subconsciously start adopting your habits—like they’re trying to keep a piece of you around.
Your ex is not just “exploring new interests.” They’re filling the void you left. If they hated sushi when you were together, but now they’re posting pics at your favorite spot? That’s a cry for your attention.
Example: You broke up six months ago, and now they’re suddenly obsessed with that indie artist you played all the time. Or they’re binging the Netflix series you begged them to watch. That might be personal growth, but it’s likely missing you.
If your ex isn’t bold enough to just text “I miss you,” they’ll find other ways to slide into your life. Maybe they send a meme you’d like, “accidentally” like an old pic of yours, or comment on your story with some random inside joke. These aren’t accidents—they’re breadcrumbs.
Your ex is likely testing the waters. If they wanted nothing to do with you, they wouldn’t bother interacting at all. But since they’re reaching out in these little, harmless ways, they’re hoping you’ll take the bait.
Example: Out of nowhere, they text you a TikTok that reminds them of you. Or they reply to your IG story with “LOL, classic you.” They’re not just being friendly—they’re trying to restart a conversation without looking desperate.
If you run into your ex and they suddenly act extra—lingering in conversation, finding excuses to touch you (even just a “friendly” arm tap), or oversharing about their life, they’re not just being nice. They’re trying to reel you back in.
People who are over you keep it short and polite. But if they’re dragging out the convo, laughing too hard at your jokes, or “forgetting” they have somewhere to be, they’re still emotionally attached.
Example: You bump into them at a mutual friend’s party, and instead of a quick “Hey, how are you?” they’re suddenly telling you all about their new job, their dog, their feelings—like they’re trying to prove they’re doing great (but really, they want you to care). Classic “I still think about you” behavior.
If you still have feelings, and the clues say they do too, there’s no harm in sending a casual “Hey, how’ve you been?” text. Keep it light—no heavy emotions right away. Gauge their response. If they’re eager to talk? Maybe there’s something worth exploring. If they’re short or distant? Then you have your answer.
Just because your ex misses you doesn’t mean you owe them your energy. If you’re done, be done. Mute their stories, archive old texts, and focus on moving forward. You don’t need their lingering thoughts messing with your peace.
If you’re stuck wondering “Does my ex still think of me?” but need to move on, consider asking them directly—once. Say something like, “I’ve been thinking about us, and I just need to know where your head’s at.” If they dodge the question or give a vague answer, take that as your closure.
Friendship after a breakup is tricky, but if you both genuinely want it, take it slow. No late-night calls, no flirty jokes—just real, neutral hangouts. If feelings keep creeping back in, though, it might be time to admit friendship isn’t possible.
Some exes can casually grab coffee without it being a big deal. But if every meet-up feels like a will-they-won’t-they rom-com scene? That’s your sign they (or you) aren’t actually over it.
At the end of the day, knowing your ex still thinks of you doesn’t mean you have to act on it. The real question is: What do you want? Because their feelings only matter if you decide they do.
After all these clues, one thing’s clear—if your ex is doing any of these things, they’re definitely still hung up on you in some way. But here’s the real takeaway: what matters most isn’t what they’re thinking—it’s what you want to do about it.
Whether you choose to reach out, move on, or just enjoy the ego boost, you hold the power now. Breakups leave messy emotional breadcrumbs, but you don’t have to follow them unless it’s what you truly want.
So, after you get the answer to “Does my ex still think of me?”—ask yourself: “Do I still care?” Because at the end of the day, your peace of mind is what counts most.