The Narcissistic Leader: How To Avoid Becoming Him

You know the “narcissistic leader“—the boss who’s more into their own success story than actually leading the team. It’s the kind of leader who seems to be all about themselves, who puts their personal ambitions above everything else, sometimes even above the company’s goals.

Maybe you’ve seen one in action, or maybe you’ve heard horror stories around the office. Whatever the case, if you’re a leader, you might wonder: “Will that happen to me?”

It’s a valid fear. Leading is tricky. On one hand, you want to drive results and make an impact for your team and the company. You want to be respected and recognized for the value you bring to the table—who doesn’t?

But on the other hand, there’s this balancing feat. Because too much focus on yourself—on your own career, your own achievements, your own image—could make you slip into narcissistic behavior without even realizing it.

And let’s be honest: no one wakes up one day and just decides, “Hey, I think I’ll be a narcissistic leader from now on.” It’s more like a slow drift that happens over time if you’re not careful.  

So, where’s the line? How do you stay ambitious without letting it turn into arrogance? How do you look after your own growth without losing sight of your team? How do you drive results without steamrolling the people who help you achieve them?

It’s so easy to fall into that “me first” mindset, especially when the pressure is on to perform. But falling into that trap can alienate your team, undermine trust, and eventually create a toxic work environment. 

This article is here to help you avoid all that. We’ll go over some of the warning signs that you might be leaning toward becoming a narcissistic leader and give you practical tips to keep your focus where it should be.

So, if you’re worried about striking that balance between personal success and effective leadership, keep reading. This could be your guide to staying grounded, humble, and genuinely respected—while still making a real impact.

Can I Really Turn Into A Narcissistic Leader?

Believe it or not, even a good person can turn into a narcissistic leader over time. You might think, “Not me. I care about my team. I want what’s best for them.” And honestly, that might be true! But here’s the thing: narcissism doesn’t just show up overnight. It’s usually a slow, gradual process, sneaking in little by little.

Before you know it, a well-meaning, hardworking leader can become… well, a narcissistic leader. It happens more often than you’d think, and sometimes, people don’t even realize they’ve crossed the line.

So, how does it happen?

Imagine you’re doing really well in your role. People notice your hard work, you get praised, and maybe you even get promoted. That kind of attention feels good—no shame in that! But it’s easy to start craving that feeling more and more.

Slowly, you might start focusing more on what you want to achieve than on what’s best for the team. Maybe you start taking credit for successes, or maybe you’re just a little too quick to brush off mistakes by blaming others.

At first, these things seem small, maybe even harmless. But over time, they build up, and before you know it, you’re in full “me mode.” That’s one big sign of a narcissistic leader: putting your own image above everyone else’s needs.

Another common trap is the “my way or the highway” attitude. A narcissistic leader often believes their ideas are the best—period. They’ll push their agenda, dismiss feedback, and ignore team members’ suggestions because, deep down, they think they know better than anyone else.

For example, say a team member suggests a new way to approach a project. Instead of considering it, you shoot it down immediately because you’re confident your way is better. After a while, the team stops giving ideas altogether. They just do what you say, and you start to enjoy that control. But guess what? That’s classic narcissistic behavior.

And then there’s the issue of recognition. A narcissistic leader needs constant validation. They want to be seen as the “hero” or the “savior” of the team. So they might start hogging the spotlight, making sure everyone knows they’re the one pulling all the strings. They might even downplay the contributions of others just to make themselves look better.

So yes, it’s possible for any leader—even a well-intentioned one—to slowly turn into a narcissistic leader. It’s all about small habits that build up over time. The good news? By being aware of these warning signs, you can catch yourself before it’s too late. 

Now, here’s some practical advice on preventing yourself from turning into that type of leader. 

How To Stop Yourself From Turning Into A Narcissistic Leader

So, you’re serious about not turning into a narcissistic leader. Good on you! Avoiding narcissistic tendencies doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your own success. It’s all about balance—focusing on your own growth while making sure you’re genuinely lifting up the people around you.

Here are some practical tips to help you stay grounded, humble, and the kind of leader people want to follow.

Practice Active Listening  

We hear this all the time: “Be a good listener.” But here’s the deal—it’s actually hard to listen well, especially when you’re in charge. A narcissistic leader tends to tune out other people’s ideas, focusing only on their own.

So, make it a habit to listen to your team. And I mean really listen. When someone shares an idea, don’t just wait for your turn to talk. Take a breath, think about what they’re saying, and respond thoughtfully. It shows that you value your team’s input and aren’t just focused on your own ideas.

Give Credit Where It’s Due

A narcissistic leader loves the spotlight. They want to be seen as the hero. But if you want to avoid this trap, make a habit of giving credit to others.

When your team does something great, recognize it. Send a quick email shoutout, mention them in a meeting, or just say “thank you” directly. For example, instead of saying, “We achieved this goal,” try, “Our team achieved this goal.”

It seems small, but it goes a long way in building trust and respect. Plus, it reminds you that leadership is about lifting others up, not just lifting yourself up.

Ask for Feedback Regularly 

Feedback is one of the best ways to keep yourself in check. A narcissistic leader avoids feedback because they don’t like hearing criticism. But if you want to grow and stay grounded, you need honest input from others.

Try asking your team directly: “Is there anything I could be doing better?” Or set up a monthly check-in where you ask for feedback. Yes, it can be a little uncomfortable, but it’s worth it.

And here’s the key—actually act on the feedback you get. Show your team that you’re willing to make changes. It’s a powerful way to build trust and avoid falling into that “I know best” mindset.

Set Clear Boundaries Between ‘You’ and ‘The Role’  

One big mistake that leads to narcissism is tying your entire identity to your job title. When that happens, any criticism or failure feels personal, and it’s easy to become defensive.

Instead, remind yourself that you are more than your role. Outside of work, focus on other parts of your life—whether it’s family, hobbies, or community activities. This helps you see leadership as something you do, not who you are.

A narcissistic leader often thinks, “I am the company.” But a grounded leader knows they’re just one piece of the bigger picture.

Focus on Team Goals, Not Just Personal Milestones  

A narcissistic leader is always asking, “How does this benefit me?” Instead, try to frame your goals in terms of what’s best for the team. When setting goals, ask yourself, “How will this benefit my team and the company?” When you’re focused on the team’s success, you’re less likely to get lost in the “me first” mindset.

Surround Yourself with People Who Keep You Humble  

A narcissistic leader tends to surround themselves with “yes-people”—people who agree with them all the time. But if you want to stay grounded, make sure you have people around you who aren’t afraid to call you out when needed.

Whether it’s a trusted coworker, mentor, or even a friend outside of work, having people who can tell you the truth helps keep you from getting too big for your boots. These people can remind you to stay humble, even when things are going really well.

Remember the ‘Why’ Behind Your Leadership  

Finally, always remind yourself why you wanted to lead in the first place. Was it to help others? Was it to make a difference in the company?

A narcissistic leader loses sight of this, focusing only on power and personal gain. But if you keep your “why” front and center, it’ll keep you grounded. Reflect on your purpose regularly—it’s a powerful way to stay focused on what really matters.

Some Leaders Are Narcissistic, You Shouldn’t Be One of Them!

At the end of the day, avoiding the trap of becoming a narcissistic leader is about being aware, staying humble, and remembering that leadership is about more than just you. It’s about the people you lead, the goals you achieve together, and the difference you can make as a team.

By practicing these habits, you’ll be on track to becoming a leader who not only succeeds but also earns genuine respect and trust. So, stay focused, stay humble, and remember—leadership isn’t about being a hero; it’s about helping others become their best, too.

And that’s the true way to avoid becoming a narcissistic leader.