What the Bible Says About Marriage and How to Apply It to Your Relationship

marriage and bible

When it comes to marriage, the Bible isn’t just a rulebook; it’s a relationship guide filled with real-world wisdom. As a man who’s been navigating marriage for 19 years (as of today actually), I know it’s easy to get swept up in modern relationship advice and lose sight of timeless principles. The Word gets a bad rep sometimes when it comes to marriage, with concepts like household leadership and submission getting taken out of context for those on both sides of the playing field.

However, the Bible is full of insights that apply as much today as they did thousands of years ago, and utilizing them can genuinely strengthen your relationship when you do it in Christ-like love. Let’s dive into some key things the Bible says about marriage and look at how to put these principles into practice.

1. Love Your Wife as Christ Loves the Church

One of the Bible’s most famous passages about marriage is in Ephesians, where husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This kind of love goes beyond romance or attraction—it’s sacrificial, selfless, and enduring. Think about it, Christ not only died for his church, but he lived for us. When He was exhausted, He still preached. When He was frustrated, He still comforted. He gave His everything, even the sweat and blood of his body to reach lost and hurting people. When I first read this, it struck me how challenging this kind of love can be, especially when life gets tough or we don’t see eye-to-eye.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
(Ephesians 5:25)

How to Apply It: Loving your wife like Christ loves the church means prioritizing her needs and happiness. This could be as simple as listening attentively when she’s talking about her day, being patient when she’s stressed, or going the extra mile to make her feel valued. It also means being willing to sacrifice your own comfort in exchange for her safety and well-being, just as Christ did.

2. Marriage is a Partnership

Ecclesiastes offers a perspective on marriage that I’ve found especially practical. Marriage, at its core, is a partnership, and a partnership works best when both people are committed to lifting each other up and helping each other through tough times. I can’t count the number of times my wife and I have had to lean on each other, or completely uphold the other even.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”
(Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

How to Apply It: Think of your marriage as a team. Approach decisions together, offer support during difficult times and don’t let pride get in the way of asking for help or giving it. Taking a team-oriented mindset helps shift focus from individual desires to shared goals. Some of the best marriage advice we ever got was this: “Your spouse is never your enemy. In no argument is it you against her. It’s you and her against the enemy of your soul and your marriage.”

If you and your wife will partner up and agree to let nothing separate you from each other, there’s not much Satan can throw at you that you can’t work through together.

3. Be Slow to Anger and Quick to Forgive

The Bible emphasizes forgiveness and patience, especially in close relationships. While the Word is not solely attributing this concept to marriage, it certainly applies. James reminds us to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” Anger can do serious damage if it’s left unchecked, and, over the years, I’ve realized how important it is to make forgiveness a regular habit in marriage.

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”
(James 1:19)

How to Apply It: Practice giving each other the benefit of the doubt. If a disagreement arises, focus on listening before you respond. When emotions are high, consider taking a break and coming back to the conversation when you’re both calm. Forgiveness isn’t about excusing bad behavior—it’s about choosing peace in your heart and committing to peaceful resolutions in your relationship.

4. Keep the Unity of Marriage Sacred

In Matthew, Jesus explains that marriage is a sacred bond, designed by God. For me, this adds another level of protection to my marriage. It is not just a promise between me and her. It’s a covenant that I entered into with the Lord. It’s easy to take each other for granted, but when we remember the significance of our commitment, it adds weight to how we treat each other.

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
(Matthew 19:6)

How to Apply It: Guard your marriage by investing time, effort, and respect into your relationship. Prioritize quality time, honor your commitment by staying faithful, and be intentional about making each other feel appreciated. Your spouse takes precedence—over your parents, your children, and your friends. When tough times come, remind yourself that your marriage is worth fighting for and protecting, and you’re in covenant with God to do so.

5. Be Patient and Kind

Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians are popular in wedding ceremonies, and for good reason. Patience and kindness are foundational to any loving relationship. Marriage requires a lot of both, and while it sounds straightforward, putting these into practice is certainly easier said than done.

When I had my first real argument with my wife, I turned my back to her (bad move) and began praying. This infuriated her as you might imagine. When she asked me what I was doing (with extreme frustration), I explained that I was praying because I didn’t want to say anything that would hurt her or that I would regret. That act of kindness—though it made her livid for the moment—showed her that my aim would always be her protection. It set up the precedent for how we handle conflict to this day.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”
(1 Corinthians 13:4)

How to Apply It: Show kindness in everyday actions—whether it’s a thoughtful gesture, a compliment, or just a smile. A kind, well-thought-out response often diffuses the situation.

  • Listen Without Interrupting – Give your full attention when they speak, holding off on advice or reactions.
  • Do Small Acts of Service – Help with a chore, make their favorite drink, or plan a little surprise to lighten their day.
  • Pause Before Responding in Arguments – Take a moment to calm down before replying, helping keep the conversation constructive.
  • Show Grace During Stressful Times – Be understanding when they’re having a hard day and offer support without pressure.
  • Express Appreciation Often – Compliment, thank, and recognize the good in your spouse regularly to build positivity.

6. Be the Head of Your Household with Love and Responsibility

The Bible speaks about the man’s role as the head of the household in Ephesians, where Paul explains that the husband is to lead his family in a Christ-like manner. This doesn’t mean ruling with an iron fist—it’s a call to loving leadership, rooted in responsibility and respect. In today’s society, for a variety of reasons, many men have taken the back seat in their own homes. They choose to default to the will of their wives when it comes to the home and kids—perhaps out of ease… or just laziness.

Don’t get me wrong, I consider the house to be my wife’s domain, but she considers it to be my sanctuary and tries to make it a place filled with joy and peace. We make almost every decision together, but in the rare instance we can’t agree, it falls on my shoulders. Being the head of the household has challenged me to make decisions that I would much rather toss onto my wife, but it’s my responsibility in the end.

“For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.”
(Ephesians 5:23)

How to Apply It: Leading your household means making decisions that honor and protect your family. It’s not about control; it’s about being a steady, supportive, and responsible presence. Discuss plans with your wife, seek her input, and work toward a shared vision for your family. When you must make a decision on your own, do it with Biblical wisdom and prayer. Then, own it!

Final Thoughts

Marriage isn’t always easy, but the Bible provides a blueprint that’s remarkably relevant today. By loving your wife selflessly, treating your marriage as a sacred partnership, and practicing patience, forgiveness, and kindness, you’re building a relationship that reflects God’s design. These principles aren’t quick fixes, but if you keep them at the core of your relationship, you’ll see them bear fruit.

I think it’s also valuable to point out here that you can’t control the relationship. You can’t force your wife to do any of the above things. You are only responsible for your side of the road. But in most situations, if you lead by example, she will gladly join you in creating a household of peace, love, and mutual affection.

About Author
About Author
Ryan Davis Author BeFunBeKind

Ryan is a professional travel and relationship writer, originally out of Arkansas. Educated as a health and physical education teacher, he sold all his possessions, uprooted, and went on sabbatical in 2020 to go exploring! He's spent the last four years traveling the world, living and working in more than forty countries. At his side, is his wife of 19 years and fellow travel writer, Abby. Aside from being a sports fanatic and Jesus lover, he's uncle extraordinaire to 14 of the greatest creations on Earth. His passion is sharing cultural finds and encouraging men to experience a more fulfilling life by loving, serving, and understanding their partners better. Ryan is often published on Adventures From Scratch where he shares his relationship advice and family adventure tips, and on Let's Roam, where he details his travel experiences. You can find more from Ryan on he and his wife's YouTube Channel- LostAmongLocals.

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