Is He Having A Midlife Crisis?

I can name at least one time when I have looked at a man and said, ‘I bet he’s having a midlife crisis.’ was probably wrong, as are many others when they talk about men going through this crisis.

So, what kind of man goes through a midlife crisis? Better yet, is there any man who’s gone through it, or is it one big hoax men use to explain erratic behavior? 

Some studies show that evidence for a midlife crisis does not exist. However, there is evidence of emotional turmoil among middle-aged people characterized by a strong desire for change. It can only be described as a crisis.

So yes, you do have some grounds to believe that your husband or boyfriend is going through a midlife crisis. But just to be sure, it is important to learn more about these behaviors in men. 

Explore this article for signs of midlife crisis in men and how you can approach the topic gently with your loved one. 

9 Signs He’s Having A Midlife Crisis

Signs of Depression

A lot of men are prone to depression, especially during middle age. However, they don’t admit it because they consider it ‘unmanly’ to have such feelings. This hesitancy to share their emotions often means he may try to hide the depression from you.

If your partner is having a midlife crisis, you might notice he has trouble celebrating achievements. The things that used to make him happy no longer have that effect. Instead, it seems he’s only focusing on the things going wrong in his life. 

There’s a noticeable lack of zeal for life; he might appear withdrawn or disinterested in activities he once enjoyed. These are telltale signs that he’s not just having a bad day but potentially having a midlife crisis.

Overwhelming Need for Adventure or Change

When having a midlife crisis, men often experience an overwhelming need for fulfillment, leading to a craving for adventure or significant change. It can manifest in various ways.

Some start with traveling to a new country, wanting new experiences to break the monotony of daily life. Others might go further, making dramatic moves such as changing careers or relocating to a different city. He might suddenly want to try new, adrenaline-pumping activities like skydiving or an archery class.

These pursuits are not just hobbies; they are attempts to inject excitement into his life. Unfortunately, some men might pick up bad habits like increasing alcohol and drug use or even go as far as having an affair. 

Questioning Long-Standing Beliefs

It’s normal for your husband to change his mind about things he’s always believed, especially when presented with new information. However, if he fully updates his belief system out of nowhere, it could be a sign he’s having a midlife crisis.

For instance, your husband has always been dedicated to his career, firmly believing in his work and striving for professional growth. Then, seemingly overnight, he concludes that life is meaningless, quits his job, and abandons his career without a second thought.

He becomes incorrigible about his decision, unwavering despite any logic or persuasion. This drastic shift in beliefs and values is often triggered by a midlife crisis, marking a profound and often unsettling change in his perspective on life. 

Unexplained Anger and Blame

A midlife crisis is all about change. So, if he’s having a midlife crisis, his mental and emotional world will change, too. He might feel like his past decisions have somehow contributed to what he is going through. This can manifest as unexplained anger and blame.

He can be angry at himself and have regular outbursts triggered by what seems like nothing in your eyes. In addition, he could start blaming you or others for his problems, leading to strained relationships.

The need to retract from these relationships becomes strong as he wrestles with his inner turmoil. These changes are clear signs he’s having a midlife crisis.

Trouble Concentrating

When having a midlife crisis, life can suddenly feel unbearably boring. Your husband will have trouble concentrating on the present because it no longer holds his interest or he is tired of the routine. 

It often causes him to daydream about what he really wants. He might zone out and think about life if he had chosen another route or consider possibilities that seem out of reach. Sometimes, he might even daydream about his past life.

Expect to find yourself in conversations alone because he will often be lost in his thoughts.

Suddenly Changing Ambition

Because he is so focused on what could have been, he may change his dreams when he’s having a midlife crisis. He will start working on areas of his life to try to make them align with his fantasies. For example, he could suddenly become a gym rat or obsessed with fitness and sports.

He might unexpectedly buy a new house or car. He could also take multiple self-help programs or work towards getting promoted at work, asking for more responsibility.

On the other hand, he could go in the opposite direction and lose his ambition and momentum. He might give up on fitness, put little effort into his work, and slack off on important responsibilities like mortgage payments. 

Different Personality

Do you get the feeling you don’t know him anymore? It’s possible because he has a different personality. If he was once shy and withdrawn, he could suddenly become outspoken and radical. He doesn’t sound or act like himself anymore.

He might even adopt a new lifestyle to keep up with the personality change, showing dedication to being a different person but struggling to maintain it.

The worst part is sometimes he will not care whether you, his friends, or his family fit into his new persona’s lifestyle. 

Suddenly Changing His Looks

Wardrobe changes are normal as your style evolves over time. However, a midlife crisis wardrobe change is dramatic and sudden. He might start going for trendy and youthful outfits that are very out of character. In addition to clothes, he might make significant changes to his hair—dyeing it, cutting it in younger hairstyles, or growing it out for a more youthful look.

Some even go as far as getting cosmetic procedures on their faces. He will invest more time in how he looks, such as adopting a new skincare routine.

It can be driven by a desire to regain an attraction linked to youth or to reclaim the confidence he believes he has lost. These sudden changes in appearance are clear signs that he’s having a midlife crisis.

Extravagant Purchases

Say goodbye to having discussions about purchases. When he’s having a midlife crisis, he’ll buy whatever he wants, from a new phone to a house in Miami, without asking for your permission.

Why? He’s trying to recapture a sense of excitement and adventure by purchasing things he associates with his younger years.

Unfortunately, his purchases will not align with what he can afford, and your financial plans will no longer matter. His desire to feel young and adventurous again will come first, leading to a series of impulsive and extravagant buys. 

How to Approach A Man In Midlife Crisis

Step 1: Show Understanding

When your man is having a midlife crisis, start by showing understanding. Listen to him without judgment and let him know you care. Don’t be critical. Instead, show empathy and let him express his feelings. Your mission is to create a safe space for honest conversations. He must know you’re on his side during this challenging time.

Step 2: Encourage Open Communication

Encourage open communication by gently asking questions about his thoughts and feelings. When he’s having a midlife crisis, he might feel lost and unsure. Create a safe space for him to talk without fear of criticism. Let him share his worries, dreams, and frustrations. 

Step 3: Suggest Fun Activities Together

When he’s having a midlife crisis, a change of scenery or new hobbies can be refreshing. Suggest things like a weekend getaway, a new sport, or a cooking class. Engaging in fun activities together can help him feel more positive and safely feed his need for adventure.

Step 4: Be Patient and Supportive

Be patient and supportive, even when it’s tough. When your man is having a midlife crisis, he might make sudden changes or seem distant. Understand that this is a phase, and he can navigate through it with your support. Offer encouragement and reassurance, reminding him that you’re there for him, no matter what.

Step 5: Seek Professional Help Together

Sometimes, professional help is necessary. If his midlife crisis is causing a lot of stress on the relationship and family life, suggest seeing a therapist together. When he’s having a midlife crisis, professional guidance can provide valuable insights and coping strategies. Volunteering to go with him shows him that you’re willing to work together and support him.

Stand by Your Man: Support and Communication Through A Midlife Crisis

Dealing with a man having a midlife crisis can be challenging, but your support and communication are crucial. Do not ignore the signs. By showing understanding, encouraging open conversations, and being patient, you can help him get through it easily. Your support can make all the difference when he’s having a midlife crisis.