Handling Career Setbacks Gracefully: Guide to Not Falling Apart

Career setbacks are those things you never want to experience but know can happen at any time. Sure, you can do your job, make good decisions, and take advantage of opportunities as they come, but you cannot control external factors.

Take the COVID pandemic, for example. Nobody saw it coming, and many people were laid off, with some never being able to bounce back from that setback. They did not do anything wrong; sometimes, you just fail. 

So what happens in times like these? Where you come across a career setback and are struggling to keep it together.

You want to keep it together, still have your pride, and get through it without asking for help. These are all reasonable wants, considering the pressure on men to avoid showing any signs of weakness.

Luckily, there are some things you can do to make sure that you can first get through the setback gracefully and then get back on your feet and move forward.

Keep reading to learn more about dealing with career setbacks. 

In The First Few Days

Admit Your Feelings

The first step in dealing with career setbacks is to allow yourself to feel upset or disappointed. It’s normal to experience frustration, anger, or sadness after a setback, like missing out on a promotion or losing a job.

Do not be too focused on suppressing your emotions. They do not make you weak; feel them and recognize that they are normal. But not to say that you should linger on them for too long; you could become even more disappointed with yourself.

Have a bad day or two, but don’t unpack and live there. If you feel yourself slipping, talk to someone you can trust, such as a mentor or friend. It’s going to be hard, but share what you’re going through. Don’t expect advice; the goal here is to feel that burden lift from your chest so you are light enough to move on. 

Do Not Make Quick Decisions

After a setback, it’s easy to feel like making immediate changes, such as quitting your job or dramatically changing your career path. Making that change is an attempt to recover, save face, and ‘get on top of things.’

But making a quick, life-changing decision is not how you should react. When you finally think through it, you may regret those decisions. It sucks to go through your ‘failure’ again, but it’s important to take time to reflect before making any major decisions.

Rash decisions made in the heat of the moment might make things worse, like regretting something you said during an argument because you were angry and frustrated at the time.  

So, give yourself a few days to think things over. For example, don’t send an angry email if you were passed over for a promotion. Instead, ask for a meeting with your supervisor and ask what could have gone wrong. That’s the responsible thing to do. 

Do Not Apologize More Than You Have To

After a big career setback, you may have the urge to apologize to your superior or a client. Perhaps it was your fault, and even if it wasn’t, you still feel responsible for what went wrong.

This urge to apologize repeatedly is actually the need to forgive yourself. If you’ve already acknowledged your rightful mistake and are focused on improving, then you do not need to apologize any further. Doing so will only make you focus on what went wrong even more.

You will beat yourself up over it, diminishing your confidence and the healthy pride you’re supposed to have.

When you feel the urge to apologize again, try practicing self-forgiving strategies. If you must focus on something, it should be moving on. 

Stay Positive 

It’s normal to feel sad after career setbacks, but dwelling on negative thoughts can prevent you from moving forward. Yes, you should figure out what went wrong and acknowledge the feelings of sadness. However, do not live in that moment.

After you feel, focus on the positive aspects of your situation, such as what you’ve learned and how you can grow from the experience. It is important to maintain a positive attitude in those first few days. 

Remind yourself that setbacks are temporary and that they often lead to new and better opportunities. Keeping a positive perspective will help you stay motivated and resilient as you figure out your next steps.

Succeeding After Career Setbacks

When people go through a huge setback, it becomes difficult to see the upside of things. For example, if you lose one million dollars today, it will be easier for you to believe that you will also lose your house than that you will make five million dollars in the next two years. We are just drawn to negativity.

So, this is where you pull out every superhuman nerve in your body and fight against those feelings. Career setbacks are not the end of it. In fact, this is one of those moments when rose-colored glasses are acceptable and necessary.

Yes, it’s possible to still succeed after a setback. But first, you must get up and develop the will to move on. Here are a few tips to help you along the way. 

Ask For Feedback

Career setbacks can feel shameful and something you should avoid altogether. But that’s not how growth works. After experiencing a setback, you should seek feedback from your boss, colleagues, or mentors. But not to give yourself more reasons to be hard on yourself.

Getting outside perspectives can provide clarity on what went wrong and how to improve. Ask for productive criticism and advice on how you can perform better in the future. For example, if you missed out on a project, ask your supervisor what skills or qualities the selected candidate had that you can develop. Feedback is the first step in your growth and prepares you for future success.

Set New Goals

Career setbacks are an opportunity to switch things up. Instead of hyperfocusing on the mistake, get excited about setting new goals to help you move forward. Instead of quitting or making a quick career change, try to find new goals that get you excited about your job or career.

For example, if you didn’t land a certain project, set a new goal to win a new project. Make sure your goals are realistic and practical. 

By setting clear goals, you’ll have something to work towards, which can boost your confidence and help you regain momentum in your career.

Continue Learning and Developing Skills

One way to turn career setbacks into success is to consistently learn and improve your skills. Learning something new and improving your skills is a great alternative to wallowing in self-pity and misery.

Take this time to enroll in online courses, go to workshops, or read books related to your field. Besides improving your skills, it will keep your mind distracted and focused on growth. It also helps you become excited about new opportunities. 

For example, if you lost a job, learning new technologies or strategies can make you more competitive in the job market.

You will never regret investing in yourself. It boosts your confidence and makes you more valuable in future opportunities.

Network and Build Relationships

Just like coming from a breakup, you need to put yourself out there after career setbacks. You may want to hide because you feel guilty or ashamed. But that’s not what a confident man would do. He reconnects with his professional network because it helps him bounce back from career setbacks.

So don’t hide at home making ‘silent moves.’ Go out, attend industry events, reach out to former colleagues, or join professional groups to build new connections. Attend workshops, volunteer, and be the guy who’s willing to help or join task forces or projects.

Networking can lead to new opportunities, advice, and support. The connection might inform you of a job opening or refer you to someone who can help advance your career.

Networking keeps you visible and can help you find new paths after a setback. So be out there and be seen until they remember you. 

Take Care of Your Well-Being

This is perhaps the most important part of overcoming career setbacks: taking care of yourself. Career setbacks can be stressful, so it’s important to take care of your mind and physical health. 

You will be too focused on making things right and bouncing back. So, you may find yourself overworking, burnt out, and stressed. Your mental health will be suffering silently because you’ve been too busy trying to stay on top of things.

But that’s not the way to go. You must make time for activities that reduce stress, such as exercising, meditating, or spending time with loved ones. Taking care of your well-being ensures that you’re in the right mindset to tackle challenges and stay focused on your goals.

So, in between goal-setting, networking, and skill development, go for a walk or practice mindfulness to help you clear your mind and stay grounded during difficult times.

Setbacks Are An Opportunity To Take A Step Forward

Career setbacks are bad. That’s established. And they can happen at any point without your fault. It’s okay to feel sad and disappointed when it happens. But only for a while. Take this as an opportunity to reevaluate and grow. Once you get past those few days, the possibilities are just as many as they were before it all happened.