Serving Under Stress: What Volunteering in Ukraine Taught Me About Leadership and Relationships
Volunteering in a conflict zone was one of the biggest leadership and people skills tests I have ever undertaken. My experience in Ukraine, during the first few weeks of the current war, taught me a truckload about leadership and how immense stress can be channeled into a laser-focused desire to uplift and support others.
My wife and I were traveling in Estonia when the first bombs were dropped on Kyiv. We quickly decided that we had the time, abilities, and responsibility to help out in any way we could. We signed on with an American crisis relief team that my wife’s family had former affiliations with. We started as team members, but with the understanding that we would take over leadership of the on-ground operation after a couple of weeks. Though I had led mission teams in rough areas before, those ten weeks in Ukraine changed my outlook on almost every aspect of life and leadership!
Becoming Aware of Your Own Traits…
When we think of a natural leader, we picture someone inspiring, charismatic, and full of vision. I am none of those things. I’m quiet, an over-thinker, and sometimes forget my own self-worth. However, willingness to take on the challenge is the first step to becoming a great leader. While I don’t characterize myself as a “great leader” in the least, I have learned that every human has a list of characteristics that if honed and used appropriately can inspire others.
Staying Calm Under Pressure…
The situation in Ukraine was unpredictable, and we often faced dangerous and tense moments. One day I had to drive an aid van to the front lines to deliver supplies and remove a few elderly residents. There is no room for error in a situation like that.
We said a prayer, donned our bulletproof attire, and took off at insane speeds—One wrong turn would land us and our van in a mortar hole, open to air fire with no cover. The objective was to get in, drop food, grab any refugee who wanted to leave, and get out—preferably in one piece.
“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Even though there was shelling in the area, we had a job to do. From years in the classroom, I was well aware that my attitude, fear level, and willingness to serve would dictate the attitude of my team. But, in Ukraine, this fact was a life-or-death kind of realization. I had to stay calm for the sake of my team. This experience forced me to drop my habit of overthinking and become focused and confident.
Looking back at it now, I’m surprised at how peace arose in a time of such turmoil. I can’t really explain it, but it was as if the stress and the urgent need of others birthed something in you, something you didn’t know you were even capable of. In this situation, quick, informed decisions, made in a calm and rational way, are the only way to thrive. I still take ten minutes to choose my cereal in the aisle, but Ukraine taught me that I can function under fire…literally.
Respecting and Utilizing Differences…
“Leadership is the art of giving people a platform for spreading ideas that work.”
-Seth Godin
Working in Ukraine also reinforced the importance of understanding and respecting different cultural values when leading. Foreign customs and language barriers often made things a little difficult. We relied on local interpreters and community leaders, who were essential in bridging the gap between us and the locals. We never would have made it without incredible local volunteers.
To prevent issues, we had regular sessions where team members and locals shared insights about their cultural experiences. We also submitted every decision to the wisdom of our local leaders. This incredible collaboration taught me that sometimes a leader’s job is just to listen, gather ideas, and then put them in play.
Caring for the Team…
“A good objective of leadership is to help those who are doing poorly to do well
and to help those who are doing well to do even better.”
-Jim Rohn
Successful leadership in a stressful environment means understanding the individual needs of your team members. Everyone has their strengths, weaknesses, and ways of coping with stress. Recognizing and addressing these differences is key to keeping the team motivated and effective.
Some volunteers were deeply affected by the trauma around us. Their usually high spirits were dampened, affecting their performance. Others compartmentalized a bit too much and were highly effective, but we knew they would crash at some point. Nighly debriefs, while sometimes a slog, were strongly enforced by my wife. She viewed them as one of our most vital roles. By taking this time every night, expressing concerns, and providing support and prayer, both groups were able to recoup and continue working at their best.
It showed me the importance of empathy in leadership. Caring for the team’s mental and emotional well-being is essential for maintaining productivity and unity.
Taking Care of Yourself…
Amid the constant demands of leading and the overwhelming needs of wartime victims, it’s easy to neglect yourself. When you’re focused on helping others, burnout is a real risk, and it sneaks up on you. The physical and emotional toll of working in a conflict zone can impair judgment, and then others get hurt.
In our first week in Ukraine, the leader was not getting much sleep or eating well. It was evident that she needed a break. My wife and I took over the teams for a few days so she could get some rest. After a few days off, she returned to finish her last week with gusto.
Seeing what she was going through, I realized that if I did not take care of myself, I was putting the mission and the team at risk. After that, we made a conscious effort to prioritize rest, nutrition, and mental breaks. Thankfully, our leadership team back home also reinforced this idea and required us to take breaks. It’s very difficult to step away, even for a few minutes, but this discipline is vital for maintaining the energy and clarity needed to lead effectively.
The Importance of Delegation…
At first, I struggled with the urge to oversee every detail myself, wanting everything to be perfect. However, the scale of our operations made this impossible to uphold.
“A leader is best when people barely know he exists.
When his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.”
-Lao Tzu
During a particular project, I found myself overwhelmed with all the activities we had going on—prayer walks, a children’s program, and a building project. Realizing I couldn’t do it all, I took a step back to analyze the capabilities of my team members. I started delegating responsibilities and appointing project leaders. I trusted others to run the projects, allowing me to float from team to team and address needs.
Delegation not only distributed the workload but also empowered team members, giving them a sense of ownership and responsibility. It allowed me to focus on any big problems and team care, making our projects more efficient. I learned that effective delegation is about using the strengths of each team member to achieve our common goals.
Some Thoughts to Chew On…
Volunteering in Ukraine was a life-changing experience that taught me innumerable lessons about leadership and relationships. While you may never serve in a war zone, you will certainly run into immensely stressful situations when undertaking any form of leadership. Leading under stress requires a mix of calmness, empathy, cultural sensitivity, and the ability to delegate. It’s about caring for the team and yourself to ensure sustained performance and resilience. Most importantly, I think I learned that you don’t need to be a force of nature to be a great leader. You just need the willingness to try, the humility to be a servant, and the eagerness to see others function at their best.
Ryan is a professional travel and relationship writer, originally out of Arkansas. Educated as a health and physical education teacher, he sold all his possessions, uprooted, and went on sabbatical in 2020 to go exploring! He's spent the last four years traveling the world, living and working in more than forty countries. At his side, is his wife of 19 years and fellow travel writer, Abby. Aside from being a sports fanatic and Jesus lover, he's uncle extraordinaire to 14 of the greatest creations on Earth. His passion is sharing cultural finds and encouraging men to experience a more fulfilling life by loving, serving, and understanding their partners better. Ryan is often published on Adventures From Scratch where he shares his relationship advice and family adventure tips, and on Let's Roam, where he details his travel experiences. You can find more from Ryan on he and his wife's YouTube Channel- LostAmongLocals.
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Ryan Davishttps://befunbekind.com/author/ryan-davis/
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Ryan Davishttps://befunbekind.com/author/ryan-davis/
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Ryan Davishttps://befunbekind.com/author/ryan-davis/
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Ryan Davishttps://befunbekind.com/author/ryan-davis/
