Dads Showing an Example to your Children on Mother’s Day

I have a friend that recently posted something on social media. It hit me straight in the heart. This single mother shared how much she dreads being on social media on Mother’s Day; seeing all the moms with flowers, homemade breakfasts-in-bed, and all of the lovely things that are ‘from the kids’ (but everyone knows, behind-the-scenes, the effort and expense mostly comes from the father of those kids, especially the younger ones). It should not be the case that only traditional, married, in-tact families celebrate moms on Mother’s Day! All mothers shouldbe celebrated. Not just one day a year, but every day, in this single momma’s humble opinion…..

I have been a single mother for years. I was very blessed with a co-parent that took our children shopping for me every Mother’s Day (and other holidays as well). My heart truly feels so much hurt for those mothers who do not feel honored, pampered, and singularly special on such a beautiful day in which we celebrate our precious mothers.

Divorced, separated, ‘It’s Complicated’, it does not really matter what the social status is. If you share children with someone, taking your kids to do something special for their mother is not about their mother. It is about your responsibility toward your shared children. It is an honorable characteristic of a man to instill respect, worthiness, appreciation, and a little bit of spoilage toward their mother, no matter how you personally feel about her.

Let me be clear: this is a gift to your children. It is not one-sided, as I did the same for my sons’ father for Father’s Day, his birthday, other holidays and special occasions for several years. Trust me, shopping for that man was not super fun when we were married, it was even less so when we were divorced (and I know he would lightheartedly say the same about me!). However, that is not why I did it (or why he did it for me). We did it to show a united front, an allegiance, a genuine respect and admiration for our children’s ‘other’ parent. Again, this is a gift to your child, not the other parent.

Someday those children (especially boys, to whom gifts and shows of affection do not always come naturally) will appreciate the time each parent took to consider the ‘other’ parent on a holiday, birthday, or other monumental life occasion. They will value the example of showing appreciation to the special women in their lives. This example will assuredly live on through their relationships, marriages, children, grandchildren, throughout the always expanding roots of their ever-growing family tree.

To the dads that step up and do the right thing (even with a shake of their head or intense inward conflict), I sincerely Thank You for showing your children how important it is to honor their mother on this special day.

To the teachers that work with elementary school children on those invaluable hand-made arts and crafts for Mother’s Day, I Thank You, from the bottom of my heart. Those are the most heartfelt, touching, valuable keepsake gifts (all of which I will never part with), and may just be the only gift some mothers will receive on this day of honor.

To the re-married husbands and stepfathers that do all the things their stepchildren’s other parent refuses (or is unable) to do, I wholeheartedly Thank You. You have no idea how much your thoughtfulness means to your wife, and how your example speaks volumes to your beloved bonus children.

There are so many broken-hearted women on Mother’s Day, for various reasons not mentioned here. Today, my heart was prompted to share this one single perspective toward single moms. Someone, please….do something special to make a mom’s day special. You may just be the only one who does.

Mother’s Day is a prime opportunity for divorced dads to send a clear and kind message to their children, by way of encouraging them to treat mom special on Mother’s Day. Read more here…