‘Is he over his ex?’ is probably the first question you should ask yourself before getting serious with any guy. Attachments from relationships, especially long-term ones, can run deep. It could be years, and he may still not be over it. Unfortunately, it means that you will be in a relationship with someone who’s got 1 and a half feet out the door. You don’t want that, so look out for the following signs that he is still holding on.
If he still gets choked up, angry, or overly nostalgic when his ex comes up in conversation, that’s a red flag. A guy who’s truly over his ex can mention her without a big emotional reaction—maybe a shrug or a simple, “Yeah, that didn’t work out.”
But if his voice shakes, he gets defensive, or he suddenly needs to vent about her, he’s clearly still holding onto something. Even anger means he’s emotionally tied to her. So, if you’re wondering, ‘Is he over his ex?’, pay attention to how he talks about her.
If it feels like he’s reliving old feelings instead of just stating facts, chances are he’s not as moved on as he claims.
A picture here or there? Fine. But if he’s holding onto old love letters, gifts, clothes, or a whole camera roll of couple pics, that’s a problem. Keeping physical reminders means he’s not ready to let go—whether he admits it or not.
Maybe he says it’s “just memories,” but if he’s not deleting or boxing up that stuff, he’s keeping the door cracked open. If you ask yourself, ‘Is he over his ex?’, check how he handles their past. A guy who’s moved on doesn’t need constant souvenirs from a relationship that’s done.
If he says things like, “She never did that,” or “You’re so different from her,” then the answer to ‘is he over his ex?’ is a firm “no.” Comparisons mean he’s still measuring you against her, which means she’s still on his mind.
Even “positive” comparisons (“You’re so much easier to talk to than she was”) show he’s still processing the old relationship through the new one. A guy who’s truly over his ex doesn’t need to bring her up to explain you.
If he dodges questions about why they broke up or gives vague answers like, “It just didn’t work out,” be wary. Closure means being able to talk about what went wrong without drama. But if he shuts down, changes the subject, or acts like it’s some huge mystery, he hasn’t fully processed it.
A guy who’s over his ex can at least give a straight answer—even if it’s brief. So if you’re thinking, ‘Is he over his ex?’ and he won’t even explain their breakup, he might still be stuck in it.
If he brings up his ex in casual conversation—always with a smile, a nostalgic sigh, or a “She was great at [something]”—that’s a problem. A guy who’s over his ex doesn’t feel the need to remind everyone (or you) how amazing she was.
Even if they ended on good terms, constantly praising her means he’s still holding onto the good memories a little too tightly. If you’re wondering ‘is he over his ex?’, listen to how he talks about her. Fondness here and there? Fine. But if it feels like he’s giving her a highlight reel in his mind, he’s not as moved on as he should be.
Does she somehow come up in every conversation? Does he work her into stories that don’t even need her in them? That’s not normal. A guy who’s truly over his ex doesn’t feel the need to mention her constantly—whether it’s “She loved this restaurant” or “That’s what she used to say.”
If he’s always finding ways to bring her up, even when it’s irrelevant, she’s still taking up way too much space in his head. So, is he over his ex, yet her name pops up more than it should? The answer is probably no.
If he insists on taking you to their favorite date spot, playing their song, or recreating little rituals they had, that’s a red flag. A guy who’s moved on creates new memories—he doesn’t recycle old ones with a new person.
It might seem harmless at first, but if he’s pushing things that were special to them onto you, it’s a sign he’s not fully letting go.
If he’s been vague about labels, avoids defining the relationship, or says he’s “not ready” for something serious, ask yourself why. A guy who’s truly over his ex is emotionally available—he doesn’t hold back because he’s still hung up on someone else.
If he’s keeping things casual, making excuses, or giving non-answers about the future, he might still be stuck in the past. So if you’re wondering ‘Is he over his ex’ but he won’t fully commit to you, chances are he’s not, at least not yet.