Why Can’t I Just Make a Decision? These Simple Steps Are (Slowly) Changing My Indecisive Leadership Style.

decision making

Have you ever found yourself in one of those restaurants with a 20-page menu and felt completely overwhelmed? We all face a range of decisions every day, from what to have for breakfast to life-altering choices. For some people, making decisions is a breeze. But for others, like me, it’s a constant struggle. At least once a day, my wife says something to the tune of “It’s not life or death babe, it’s just a sandwich.” She’s right, and my inability to make quick decisions, even with silly things, sometimes irritates us both.

While my lack of decision-making skills is frustrating sometimes, as it affects my leadership ability at work and at home, it’s not paralyzing. However, for some of you, making a decision can be debilitating! It causes strife in your personal relationships and limits your leadership potential. If you find yourself agonizing over every choice, big or small, hang with me. I’ve been on a personal journey lately to improve my decision-making ability, and I’ve stumbled upon a few steps that I think will be helpful for us all. Let’s explore why decision-making can be so hard and what you can do to make it easier.

Why Is Decision-Making So Difficult?

First, let’s understand why making decisions is so tough. For most of us, it stems from a fear of making the wrong choice. Many of us are terrified of choosing the wrong option because we worry about the consequences and how they might impact our lives or the lives of others. This fear can be paralyzing, leading to indecision and stress.

Another significant factor is simple overthinking. Some people analyze every possible outcome in great detail, which can lead to a kind of paralysis where no decision is made. This exhaustive scrutiny of options often results in more confusion and anxiety rather than clarity. It’s like the more you think about it, the farther you get from a decision.

Lack of confidence plays a crucial role. If you don’t trust your own judgment, making confident decisions is nearly impossible. Self-doubt leads to second-guessing every choice, creating a vicious cycle.

For some, perfectionism can be a crippling factor. Though we all know perfection is unrealistic and overwhelming, we want everything to be just right, which can lead to avoiding decisions altogether to prevent making an imperfect choice.

Let’s make a change…

Now that we’ve identified some reasons why decision-making is challenging, let’s look at practical steps to improve this skill. I have been implementing these in my own life, and while I still struggle, I am noticing a difference in my ability to commit to a choice.

  1. Acknowledge your struggle: Recognize and accept that you have difficulty making decisions, and understand that there’s no shame in it. Many people share the same challenge. Just acknowledging the issue keeps it at the forefront and reminds you to work on it. Tell a few trusted friends, your partner, or coworkers so they can help you in the process.
  2. Simplify your choices: When possible, reduce the number of options. For example, if you’re deciding what to wear, limit your closet to a few outfits at a time rather than considering your entire wardrobe. This reduction in options can make the decision process less overwhelming.
  3. Set parameters: Setting a time limit for making a decision is another effective strategy. Give yourself a deadline, which can prevent overthinking and force you to make a choice without endless deliberation.
  4. Trust your gut: Your initial instinct is often the right one, so learn to listen to your gut feeling, especially for less critical decisions.
  5. Pros and Cons: For more significant decisions, making a pros and cons list can be incredibly helpful. This method allows you to visually compare the benefits and drawbacks of each option, providing a clearer picture of which choice is best. For big decisions, this is when you analyze any available data on the topic. Additionally, seeking advice from friends, family, or colleagues can offer new perspectives and help you see things you might have missed.
  6. Reflect: Reflecting on past decisions and their outcomes is another valuable practice. Learning from previous choices can provide insights and guide you toward making better decisions in the future.
  7. Strive for good not perfect: Finally, it’s essential to accept imperfection. Understand that no decision is perfect; there will always be pros and cons. Making an informed choice is better than striving for perfection, which can be paralyzing and unrealistic.
  8. Take immediate action: This one is important. Once you’ve weighed the options and you’re leaning in a direction, take action! Don’t give yourself time to agonize over the details.
  9. Start small: Start implementing these strategies with minor decisions and gradually move to more significant ones. Each successful decision builds your confidence, creating a solid foundation for tackling more complex choices in the future.
  10. Celebrate quick decisions: Celebrating your successes is also important. Acknowledge and celebrate your good decisions, no matter how small they may seem. This positive reinforcement boosts self-esteem and encourages you to continue making decisions confidently. Note them in your journal or share them with a loved one to acknowledge your progress.

As you embark on this journey to become a more decisive person, remember to manage your emotions. While emotions do contribute to healthy decisions, no major decision should be made purely out of anger, sadness, or fear. Recognize that you will make decisions that have negative consequences from time to time. It’s part of being human, and it’s unlikely to be life-changing. Stick to your values, think about your goals, analyze any data that’s available, ask for trusted advice, and then…make an educated decision.

Struggling with decisiveness isn’t the end of the world. With practice, patience, and the right strategies, you can improve your decision-making abilities. Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them. The goal isn’t to be perfect but to make choices that are good enough and move you forward. Embrace the journey with me, and hopefully, we’ll find that making decisions becomes less daunting over time.

P.S. Professional help is sometimes the best decision.

Sometimes, decision-making difficulties can stem from deeper issues such as anxiety, depression, or OCD. If you find that your struggle with decisions is significantly impacting your life, it may be time to seek professional help. Therapists provide proven strategies and personal support to improve your decision-making skills and overall well-being. Don’t struggle alone and don’t underestimate how much help a pro can offer!

About Author
Ryan Davis Author BeFunBeKind

Ryan is a professional travel and relationship writer, originally out of Arkansas. Educated as a health and physical education teacher, he sold all his possessions, uprooted, and went on sabbatical in 2020 to go exploring! He's spent the last four years traveling the world, living and working in more than forty countries. At his side, is his wife of 19 years and fellow travel writer, Abby. Aside from being a sports fanatic and Jesus lover, he's uncle extraordinaire to 14 of the greatest creations on Earth. His passion is sharing cultural finds and encouraging men to experience a more fulfilling life by loving, serving, and understanding their partners better. Ryan is often published on Adventures From Scratch where he shares his relationship advice and family adventure tips, and on Let's Roam, where he details his travel experiences. You can find more from Ryan on he and his wife's YouTube Channel- LostAmongLocals.

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