10 Must-Read Relationship Help Books for Couples

I don’t like saying anything negative when it comes to relationships, but it’s hard not to admit that relationships aren’t always easy. That’s why there are so many relationship help books!

Whether you’re dating, engaged, or married, there are days when it feels like everything is perfect, and love is literally the best thing ever. But then, there are those other days. The tough ones. Maybe it’s the constant bickering over little things, the awkward silences when you’re both upset or that feeling like something is… off. 

Even if things aren’t falling apart, you might still wonder: How can we make this relationship even better? How do we grow together, not apart?

If you’ve been feeling this way, you’re not alone. Seriously, we all want that dream relationship—one where we feel understood, loved, and supported, even on our worst days. And that’s where relationship help books come in. 

They’re like that wise, non-judgy friend who gives you advice you didn’t even know you needed. These books are filled with insights, tips, and real strategies you and your partner can actually use to communicate better, handle conflicts like pros, and deepen your connection. Sometimes, they just make you feel validated, and it can make things a whole lot better. 

Maybe you’re both trying to bounce back from a rough patch, or maybe you just want to get ahead of future challenges before they even pop up. Either way, grabbing a good relationship help book (or ten) to read together can be a game-changer. 

It’s not about who’s “right” or “wrong.” It’s about being proactive and building something strong—something that lasts.

So, if you’re ready to quit guessing and start growing, this list is for you. We’ve rounded up 10 must-read relationship help books that will help you and your partner get closer, talk better, and love harder. 

Whether you’re fixing cracks or strengthening an already-solid foundation, these books have your back. 

10 Must-Read Relationship Help Books

1. Fight Right by Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, and John Gottman, PhD

Arguments happen. Whether it’s about who forgot to take the trash out or something way deeper, disagreements are part of every relationship. The problem isn’t that you fight; it’s how you fight. That’s where Fight Right shines. 

Written by two of the most respected experts in relationships, Julie and John Gottman, this book teaches couples how to argue in a way that strengthens their bond instead of tearing it apart. No more yelling matches, silent treatments, or “storming off and slamming the door” moments. This book is all about showing you and your partner how to manage conflict constructively. 

One cool way to use this book? After reading a chapter, sit down with your partner and practice the techniques together. Honestly, even if you’re not fighting a lot right now, Fight Right gives you the tools to tackle tough conversations before they blow up.

2. Relationship Goals by Michael Todd

If you’ve ever scrolled through Instagram and thought, I want what they have, this book is for you. In Relationship Goals, Pastor Michael Todd keeps it real about what it takes to have a relationship worth bragging about. Spoiler alert: It’s not just about posting cute couple selfies. It’s about doing the work—individually and together.

Todd’s writing is super relatable (and funny, too), so it feels like you’re talking to a friend. He dives into stuff that matters whether you’re dating, married, or somewhere in between. 

A fun, interactive way to dive into this book is to write down your “relationship goals” together after reading a chapter. Dream big, but also talk about the steps you’ll take to get there. 

3. We Over Me by Khadeen Ellis and Devale Ellis

Ever feel like life’s challenges are pulling you and your partner in opposite directions? We Over Me by Khadeen and Devale Ellis is all about flipping that script. This power couple shares their raw and unfiltered story.

The title says it all: it’s about shifting the mindset from “me” to “we.” They break down what it takes to create a strong partnership that lasts.

Here’s how to make the most of this book: After reading, sit down with your partner and have a weekly “check-in” where you talk about what’s working, what’s not, and how you can support each other better. 

4. The All-or-Nothing Marriage by Eli J. Finkel

If you’ve ever wondered why marriage seems so different today compared to, like, 50 years ago, this book will blow your mind. Eli J. Finkel dives deep into how modern marriages are less about survival (hello, old-school roles) and more about emotional connection and self-growth. 

The catch? Those high expectations can be both a blessing and a curse. This book is for anyone who wants a fulfilling marriage but feels stuck trying to figure out how to balance their own needs with their partner’s. 

To absorb this book’s wisdom, try this: After reading, create a “relationship bucket list” with your partner—dreams, goals, and even silly things you want to do together. It’s a great way to refocus on the fun, meaningful stuff that makes your relationship special.

5. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, PhD, and Nan Silver

This is the relationship help book everyone talks about—and for good reason. Written by John Gottman (yes, the same Gottman behind Fight Right), this book lays out seven proven principles to make your relationship thrive. 

The advice is research-backed, easy to understand, and super practical. You’ll learn how to build a stronger emotional connection, handle conflict without resentment, and keep the romance alive. It’s perfect for couples who want to feel closer, whether you’ve been together six months or six years.

To make it fun, turn the exercises into a mini “date night.” Light some candles, grab snacks, and take turns answering questions from the book. By the end, you’ll feel like you’re falling in love all over again. If you’re only going to read one relationship help book, this one might be it.

6. Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas

If you’ve ever felt like your partner isn’t meeting you halfway or that you’re stuck carrying all the emotional weight in the relationship, Sacred Influence might just be your lifesaver. Written by Gary Thomas, this book flips the script on how you approach change in your relationship. 

Instead of begging your partner to step up (we’ve all been there), Thomas focuses on how you can inspire positive change by becoming the best version of yourself.

The book offers practical advice for improving your relationship without losing yourself in the process. It’s especially helpful for women, as Thomas dives deep into how understanding your own strength, faith, and influence can lead to a healthier dynamic. 

Think of it as learning how to lead with love instead of frustration. After reading, journal about areas in your relationship where you feel tension. Then, instead of focusing on what your partner “should” change, think about how you can shift your own perspective or approach. 

7. Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson

Sometimes, the hardest part of a relationship isn’t the fights—it’s feeling like you’re not being heard or understood. In Hold Me Tight, Sue Johnson breaks down how to build emotional safety and intimacy in your relationship. If you’ve ever felt like your arguments go in circles or like you’re drifting apart without even knowing why, this book is a must-read.

Johnson, the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), shows couples how to reconnect by understanding the deeper emotions behind their actions. To make this book actionable, try practicing the “Hold Me Tight” conversations she outlines. Even if it feels awkward at first, these moments can seriously bring you closer. 

8. I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships by Michael S. Sorensen

Most of us think we’re good listeners, but how often do we really hear what our partner is saying? In I Hear You, Michael Sorensen reveals the magic of validation, a simple yet powerful skill that can instantly improve communication in any relationship.

This book is all about learning how to listen better—not just nodding along but truly making your partner feel seen, heard, and valued. Whether your partner is venting about a rough day at work or sharing something personal, Sorensen shows you how to respond in a way that makes them feel understood instead of dismissed. 

To put this book into practice, try an “active listening” challenge with your partner. The next time they share something, fight the urge to go in with advice or solutions. Instead, focus on validating their feelings. 

9. Mindful Relationship Habits: 25 Practices for Couples to Enhance Intimacy, Nurture Closeness, and Grow a Deeper Connection by Barrie Davenport

Ever feel like life is moving so fast that your relationship is stuck on autopilot? If you’ve been craving a more meaningful connection with your partner, Mindful Relationship Habits is the guide you didn’t know you needed. 

This book is packed with 25 actionable habits designed to help you slow down, be present, and truly enjoy each other’s company. Barrie Davenport helps couples build intimacy one small habit at a time. One of the best parts of this book is that it’s super practical—you can start applying these habits immediately, even if you’re short on time.

Try this: Pick one habit from the book to practice for a week. Small changes like this might not seem like a big deal, but over time, they can transform how you connect with your partner.

10. Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs

If you’ve ever wondered why your partner reacts the way they do during arguments, Love & Respect is about to make everything click. Emerson Eggerichs breaks down one of the biggest reasons couples struggle: women crave love, while men crave respect. (Of course, we all need both, but understanding this dynamic can be a game-changer.)

Eggerichs explains how small changes in how you express love or respect can lead to huge improvements in your relationship. After reading, have an open conversation with your partner about how each of you feels most loved and respected. Is it through words of affirmation? Acts of service? 

Once you know what speaks to them, you can take small steps to show it more often. You’ll be amazed at how much better things feel when both of you feel truly valued.

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Whether you’re learning how to argue without turning the house into a battleground, figuring out how to actually listen to your partner, or building habits that keep the spark alive, there’s a book here for every couple. 

The best part? You don’t have to do it alone—grab your partner, read together, and start making those small-but-mighty changes. Because, really: the stronger your bond, the better your love story gets. Relationships don’t come with a manual, but these relationship help books are the next best thing!