Why I Intensely Spoil My Wife at the Risk of My Manliness

Preserving Manliness In Your Relationship

When people see me “spoiling my wife,” they often raise their eyebrows or crack a joke about my masculinity. It’s a scenario I’ve encountered countless times, particularly from older male family members. Despite the teasing, I continue to elevate my wife’s needs above my own. Why? I’ve come to understand that nurturing a happy marriage goes beyond outdated notions of gender roles.

In this modern world, where societal expectations for women have reached an unattainable precedent, we as men have to do better! I’m not trying to toot my own horn here, but I want to stress to others that how you treat your wife not only affects her but the happiness of your relationship. It trickles down into your children (if you choose to have them), your friendships, and your bond with her family.

A Note on Real Masculinity

My wife has a strong personality, especially in public. I am quiet and reserved. This combo has led to some accusations that “I’m her doormat,” but that’s far from the truth of our relationship. I’ve often been accused of “being whipped” or “doing a woman’s job” when it comes to my wife. Supposedly, it goes against the traditional notions of masculinity. A “real man” shouldn’t be so doting or attentive to his partner’s needs. I disagree.

Real masculinity isn’t about appearing manly; it’s about being secure enough in oneself to defy those stereotypes and live authentically. It’s about being a support base for a strong woman, so she can excel at what she’s made for. I’m not afraid of what others think because I know who I am and what I value. What I value, above all else, is my wife’s happiness and well-being.

Why I Spoil the Crap Out of My Wife

First and foremost, I love her! Love in a lasting relationship is not a feeling. It’s a daily choice to honor your partner. My wife is my best friend and my love. She’s there for me through thick and thin, supporting me in all my endeavors. Spoiling her is my way of showing that I love and appreciate everything she does.

Mutual Respect

Secondly, all healthy relationships are built on mutual appreciation. We make decisions together, support each other’s goals and dreams, and share the responsibilities of daily life. Spoiling her isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a testament to the strength of our partnership.

Setting Positive Examples

We chose not to have children, but we have 14 nieces and nephews. Four of those, we see multiple times a week. The way we treat each other affects their connotation of love and romance. It shows that love knows no bounds and that kindness and generosity are traits to be celebrated, not shunned. My hope is that through the actions of a few good men, the next generation will do better!

Support Instead of Burden

It blows my mind how many men are nothing more than another kid in the house. Why do you want to be nagged by an unhappy wife all the time? Isn’t that exhausting? She doesn’t need another kid to care for, and she doesn’t want a man that’s a burden.

There are Benefits.

Of course, there are practical benefits to spoiling my wife as well. “Happy wife, happy life,” as the saying goes. When my wife feels loved and appreciated, our relationship thrives. We communicate better, resolve conflicts more easily, and enjoy a deeper emotional and sexual connection. When times get tough, as they inevitably do, we have a strong foundation to rely on.

It’s not difficult to elevate your partner!

Small gestures like making her morning coffee or retrieving things when she doesn’t want to get up make my wife feel valued. If she is craving ice cream, I go to the store to get it. My wife is a bit of a scatterbrain. She’s brilliant, driven, and successful, but she loses her car keys ten times a day. I keep up with where she puts her things, so she doesn’t have to. I do the laundry (she doesn’t do it right), and I vacuum because she hates it.

Every woman is different, of course, but you may find that it really takes very little effort to make your wife happy. It’s mostly getting over yourself for a second and putting her needs first. It’s that easy.

Try something new!

In the end, I spoil my wife intensely because I love her fiercely. I refuse to let outdated notions of masculinity dictate how I express that love. Instead, I choose to embrace my role as a loving husband wholeheartedly, regardless of the perceived risks to my manliness. What matters most is the happiness we find in each other’s arms. As long as I have that, I’ll continue to spoil my wife with all the love and affection she deserves. If you’re struggling in your partnership, or if your spouse seems unhappy, a little tweak to your perception of manliness may be the key to success.

About Author

Ryan Davis

Ryan is a professional travel and relationship writer, originally out of Arkansas. Educated as a health and physical education teacher, he sold all his possessions, uprooted, and went on sabbatical in 2020 to go exploring! He's spent the last four years traveling the world, living and working in more than forty countries. At his side, is his wife of 19 years and fellow travel writer, Abby. Aside from being a sports fanatic and Jesus lover, he's uncle extraordinaire to 14 of the greatest creations on Earth. His passion is sharing cultural finds and encouraging men to experience a more fulfilling life by loving, serving, and understanding their partners better. Ryan is often published on Adventures From Scratch where he shares his relationship advice and family adventure tips, and on Let's Roam, where he details his travel experiences. You can find more from Ryan on he and his wife's YouTube Channel- LostAmongLocals.