The Dos And Don’ts of Resolving Conflict for Leaders

I always thought I would have to be a parent to be caught in the middle of two people fighting. It turns out that I just needed to be a manager to resolve conflicts. A leader has many roles and this is one of the harder ones.

Whether you’re ready or not, the people you are in charge of are bound to have different opinions, ideas, principles, and plans. Sometimes, the differences can escalate, leading to conflict in the workplace. 

And don’t think it will only happen between two people. No, it could be three or more people. I’ve even encountered two or three groups of people in workplace conflict. 

Sometimes, it’s the silent treatment; other times, it’s full-on verbal exchanges. And while you don’t want it to happen, it can escalate to physical attacks.

So, how do you manage conflict as a leader dedicated to serving all sides? Like everything else, resolving conflict successfully takes time and practice. 

But since you are already in the middle of this conflict, check out my quick guide on the dos and don’ts of conflict management for leaders. But first, it is important to understand:

Where Does Workplace Conflict Come From?

Workplace conflict is a common issue that can disrupt productivity and the workplace’s vibe. Understanding its sources can help resolve conflict and get back on track with work. Here are some common causes of workplace conflict:

Communication 

In the workplace, employees need to communicate effectively to build strong relationships. However, communication can sometimes go awry, leading to misunderstandings and conflict.

Misinformation, lack of information, or comments taken out of context can all contribute to problems. For example, a message intended to be helpful might be interpreted as hate if not communicated clearly. 

It can create a ripple effect, causing frustration and tension among colleagues.

Roles and Duties

When employees aren’t clear about their roles and duties, it can lead to a lot of conflict. In fact, it is a big problem that goes unnoticed in many organizations. Imagine a scenario where team members are unsure about their specific responsibilities.

They might step on each other’s toes, duplicating efforts or leaving important tasks undone. This confusion often results in blaming each other for any mishaps or failures. 

Personality

Personality differences are a natural part of any workplace but can sometimes lead to conflict. When employees don’t understand or accept each other’s personalities, tensions can arise. Today’s hyper-divided political and social environment only adds to the potential for conflict.

For instance, a very detail-oriented team member might clash with someone who prefers to see the big picture. Without mutual understanding and respect, these differences can escalate into serious conflicts. 

Toxic Work Culture

A toxic work culture can be a breeding ground for conflict. Unhealthy competition, limited resources, and pressure to meet impossible deadlines can create a stressful environment. In such settings, employees might feel the need to compete rather than collaborate, leading to conflicts.

For example, if there’s a constant rush to complete tasks with inadequate resources, team members might start blaming each other for delays or mistakes. This toxic atmosphere can undermine morale and productivity. 

The Don’ts of Resolving Conflict As A Leader

So, you know where the conflict came from. It’s time to solve it; rather, it’s time to learn what not to do. These mistakes are easier to make than you would think. So pay attention.

Don’t Interrupt, Attack Or Blame

When you’re resolving conflict, it’s necessary to stay professional. No matter how ridiculous, rude, strange, confusing, or annoying someone may seem, resist the temptation to interrupt, attack, or blame.

Doing so will only escalate the situation. Avoid pointing out mistakes or shortcomings directly. Instead, listen carefully and move the conversation forward with logic and calm.

Maintaining this level-headed approach will help de-escalate tensions and guide the conflict toward a resolution.

Don’t Let Your Emotions Get In The Way

While empathy is important, letting your emotions control the conversation can lead to bias, miscommunication, and even pushing your own agenda. Sticking to facts and aiming for logical and fair solutions when resolving conflict is essential.

If you find yourself getting emotionally involved or drifting away from objectivity, consult the company policy for guidance. 

This approach ensures that your decisions remain balanced and fair, helping to resolve the conflict without letting emotions cloud your judgment.

Don’t Impose Your Opinions

As a leader, it’s natural to have opinions or beliefs about the situation at hand. You might even think your solution is the best one and want others to adopt it.

However, imposing your opinions on others can hinder their learning process. Navigating through the challenge is part of their growth.

Imposing your views is not helpful in resolving conflict; it can create greater tension and make people less willing to open up. Remember, your role is to guide and support, not to push your agenda.

Don’t Pick A Side

Bias is a part of human nature, but as a leader, you must fight this instinct when resolving conflict. Playing favorites is a big no-no. It’s harder than it sounds though!

You might be tempted to side with someone you can’t afford to lose, someone who gives you less trouble, or someone who performs better.

However, doing so sends a bad message to everyone, even those not directly involved, and contributes to a toxic work environment.

Be mindful because even an innocent comment can seem biased. Offer fairness and support equally to all involved, nothing more, nothing less.

Don’t Avoid The Tension

Resolving conflict is often uncomfortable and might feel like an unwanted disturbance. You might be tempted to avoid the situation, thinking it’s not your problem since you didn’t cause the conflict.

But as a leader, it’s your duty to address it.

Letting the tension fester can affect the parties involved and the entire team. Don’t fool yourself into thinking the issue will resolve itself. 

Even if it seems to, it’s not a long-term solution. Embrace the discomfort and actively participate in resolving the conflict to maintain a healthy work environment.

Instead, Do the Following

Aim To Understand

While it’s natural to want to resolve conflicts quickly, your first goal should be to understand the situation fully. Conflict may seem about one thing but could actually stem from something completely different.

Before you can encourage resolution, listen. Talk to both parties and try to understand their perspectives. Make sure they know you’re just listening, not judging. When the time comes, you can use what you’ve learned to help develop a solution that addresses the real issues at hand.

Encourage Communication

Communication is key in resolving conflict. Use your authority to help team members talk to each other, but don’t force it—suggest it.

Provide a safe place where they can express their thoughts and concerns without fear of critique or backlash. Be present to support them during these discussions.

Always maintain an open-door policy, showing that you’re available and supportive. However, avoid meeting either party in secret, as it might create suspicion and further tension.

Make Sure They All Participate

Remember, not everyone deals with conflict in the same way. Some people avoid tough situations as a defense mechanism. If you resolve the conflict with only one party, it may appear as favoritism.

Therefore, ensure everyone involved participates. Provide a safe environment and address any concerns about meeting with the other party. Make sure everyone is comfortable and committed to resolving conflict. It ensures fairness and encourages a collaborative resolution.

Give Them Room 

It’s perfectly fine to let team members resolve the conflict on their own. However, this shouldn’t be mistaken for ignoring the problem.

Acknowledge the existence of the conflict and let them know you’re aware. Give them time and space to resolve it independently. Being too involved can make you seem controlling or like a micromanager.

Allowing them to handle conflicts on their own promotes growth. Additionally, check in on their progress to ensure they aren’t ignoring the issue and are working towards a resolution.

Intervene With A Solution 

Knowing the right time to intervene is crucial. If enough time has passed and the conflict has escalated too much, or if it starts to affect the entire team, it’s time to step in. You can also intervene when things get heated.

However, don’t come in empty-handed. Present your understanding of the situation and then propose a comprehensive solution. It will show that you’ve been paying attention and are committed to resolving conflict fairly and thoughtfully.

Remember, You Are A Leader, Not the Law.

Your mission in resolving conflict is to be the wise guide, not the ultimate judge. Think of yourself as wise, calm, and supportive but not overbearing. Be involved and knowledgeable about what’s happening, but steer clear of bias and micromanaging.

Understand what’s really going on, encourage everyone to communicate openly, and make sure all voices are heard. Give your team the space to work things out themselves while monitoring the situation to make sure they’re making progress. And when it’s time to step in with a solution, do it thoughtfully and fairly.

Your purpose is to create an environment where team members feel heard, respected, and empowered to resolve their conflicts in a constructive way. As a leader, your superpower in resolving conflict is to balance involvement with neutrality, maintaining harmony and productivity in the workplace.

So, channel your inner Yoda, guide and support your team through conflicts, and keep the force of teamwork strong!

About Author

Waithira Njagi is a seasoned wellness and relationship content writer with nearly a decade of experience. Her passion for helping others navigate the complexities of personal growth and connection shines through in her engaging and insightful writing.
With a knack for distilling complex topics into easily digestible pieces, Waithira's work is geared toward readers seeking guidance and inspiration on their journey to holistic well-being.
When she's not crafting engaging articles, you can find Waithira curled up with a stack of romance novels– always rooting for love to win– or enjoying quality time with her beloved family. Her dedication to spreading love and positivity is evident in everything she creates.

Waithira is here to remind you that life, much like their stories, is a tapestry of connections - to loved ones, and the endless adventures found in books.

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