Is he Thinking About Commitment, or is it Just Me?

If you have ever been in a relationship with a man, you have probably also asked yourself: Is he thinking about commitment? It’s normal to wonder if you are latching onto someone who sees you as a passing fling.

And it’s not wrong to want commitment. In fact, wanting commitment is natural and healthy. Commitment gives you a sense of stability and security. In addition, it is a pathway to deeper emotional intimacy.

When you commit, aligning your goals and values becomes easier. Plus, when you have a committed partner, you have someone to motivate you to be the best version of yourself. 

Most of all, commitments give you a sense of belonging, which is what everyone wants in one way or another. So, it is normal to wonder and want to protect yourself if the man you are dating does not look or sound like the committing type.

So, is he thinking about it, or are you on your own here?

Why Are Men Scared of Commitment?

I’ve always wondered why men are often scared of commitment. Luckily, there are many answers on the internet. The one I found most relatable was an article by Cosmopolitan where men speak out about their fears of commitment. Here’s a breakdown of what they had to say:

The ‘Illusion’ of Choice

As of July 2022, there were 2 million more women than men in the US. Some men see this as a real advantage, not just an illusion. They think they can always find someone new if things get tough, so they don’t even consider committing to one person. This idea of having endless options makes it hard for them to think about a long-term relationship.

Fear of being abandoned

Another common fear men have is being abandoned. Past relationships can play a big role in this. If a guy has been hurt multiple times, it’s easy to understand why he might be scared of getting close to someone again. It becomes difficult to tell who will stay for the long haul.

As surprising as it sounds, some men fear their partners won’t commit to them. They worry nobody will like them for more than a short-term fling. This fear can stem from insecure attachments formed during unstable and inconsistent relationships.

Losing time

Some men feel that relationships are too emotionally demanding. They think that being in a relationship takes time away from other responsibilities and activities they enjoy. So, they become detached and push potential partners away.

One man mentioned that he sees commitment as temporary, thinking that his partner will eventually meet someone else and leave him.

There are other reasons why men might be scared of commitment. Some worry that it will limit their personal freedom and independence. Others feel pressure from friends who are single or have negative views on relationships. Additionally, many men want to establish their careers and financial stability before they think about settling down.

It’s important to remember that everyone has their own reasons for feeling the way they do, and open conversations can make a big difference.

He is Thinking About Commitment If…

He is consistent and reliable.

If a man is thinking about commitment, you will notice that he is consistent and reliable. He asks you out ahead of time, making plans rather than waiting until the last minute.

He keeps his commitments and shows up on time, showing that he values his time with you and wants you to be available to him, too.

These actions are strong indicators that he sees you as a priority in his life. When a man is about commitment, his consistency and reliability speak volumes about his intentions.

He is direct and communicates.

Communication is another key sign that he is thinking about commitment. Imagine this: a man takes you out on a great date, but then he doesn’t call you for two weeks. Or, he texts you all day every day for a week, then suddenly stops responding for days.

These are all signs of someone who isn’t quite serious yet. On the other hand, a man who wants to communicate regularly and doesn’t let long days go by without talking to you shows that he is about commitment.

He is intentional about exclusivity.

When a man is intentional about spending time with you, especially one-on-one, it’s a strong sign that he is thinking about commitment. Group dates are fun and have their place, but to build a real relationship, you need to spend a lot of time together, just the two of you.

This one-on-one time allows you to truly get to know each other and suggests that he wants to be exclusive. If he is making an effort to see you alone and get to know you better, it means he is considering a committed relationship.

He is willing to talk about your relationship.

A man thinking about commitment won’t shy away from conversations about your relationship. When you bring it up, he won’t run away or divert the topic. Instead, he is willing to let you know his plans for the future and how you fit into them.

He brings up more topics related to your relationship, showing that he is serious about where things are headed. You will know he wants to commit when he opens up about your future together.

He keeps his promises.

A guy who wants to be in a serious relationship will keep his promises. This is because he doesn’t want to disappoint you. He understands that keeping his word is important for maintaining your trust.

When a man is about commitment, he knows that his integrity is crucial. By keeping his promises, he shows you that he is reliable and that you can count on him. This consistency clearly indicates that he is ready for a committed relationship.

You Know He’s Not Thinking About Commitment If…

He Cancels Plans Often

If he frequently cancels plans or changes them at the last minute, it’s a sign he’s not about commitment. When a guy is serious, he makes an effort to keep his word and show up. Consistent cancellations show a lack of consideration for your time.

He Doesn’t Introduce You to His Friends and Family

This is very obvious and should not be ignored. Introducing you to his inner circle is a big step in showing commitment. If he keeps you separate from his friends and family, it’s a sign he’s not serious. When a man is about commitment, he will want you to be part of his life in every way.

He’s Inconsistent with Communication

Inconsistent communication is another sign that he’s not thinking about commitment. If he texts you constantly for a week and then disappears for days, it shows he’s not invested. A serious guy will maintain steady and reliable communication.

Have an Honest Conversation

Remember, these are just signs. You can never truly know what he is thinking until you talk to them. So, if you are concerned about commitments, share your concern with things you’ve noticed about him. Because, in the end, understanding if he’s about commitment comes down to having an honest conversation.

Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship with someone on the same page. Don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions and seek the truth. Your happiness and peace of mind are worth it!