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This Helped Me Better Understand How Men Perceive Vulnerability
Recently I watched my husband grieve the loss of his father following a courageous battle with cancer. This experience was truly heartbreaking to witness. However, I believe it helped me to better understand just how complex the depths of vulnerability can be for men. To be vulnerable means to identify and share what is true for us emotionally. From the words of Brené Brown, “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.” As a therapist I encourage vulnerability; It has the power of truly transforming our relationships, with ourselves and with others. When we show vulnerably in the context of…
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How Betting on Myself Changed My Life Forever
Settle. Settle is defined by Merriam-Webster as “to place so as to stay,” “to establish as in residence,” or “to establish or secure permanently.” When a rock settles in a river, for example, it falls permanently to the bottom and sinks into the mud in the river bed. It’s then stuck for all of eternity unless someone comes along and pulls it out. Yes, I know this isn’t the most cheery way to start an article about pursuing your dreams, but it paints a picture of what happens to us when we settle for second-best. We become complacent and settle, causing us not to get better at whatever we’re doing,…
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These Tips Changed My Marriage Into a Lasting Relationship
We’ve all heard the saying, “happy wife, happy life.” While that’s true in part because you need both participants in a marriage to be happy, content, and satisfied, it’s also a lie. “Happy wife, happy life” implies that you should do whatever it takes to make your wife happy because as long as they’re happy, you’ll be happy. However, speaking from experience, I can tell you that this is absolutely false. Mutual participation, where you both do whatever it takes to make each other happy and not just one of you, is the key to a happy and lasting marriage. If this means that you occasionally have to compromise, then…
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My Thoughts on Masculinity as a Stay at Home Dad
When people think of traditional masculinity, they picture a man at his blue-collar job working hard to bring home the bacon. Or maybe they think of a doctor, a lawyer, or the cast of Mad Men, smoking and marketing like there’s no tomorrow. My point is that the traditional picture of masculinity includes men at work (not the band) and their wives at home, raising the kids, preparing dinner, and taking care of the home. This is especially true in conservative, patriarchial communities similar to the one that I was raised in. As such, the idea of being a stay-at-home dad is something so foreign to my friends, family, and…
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Why I Decided to Put My Spouse’s Dreams Before My Own
We’re currently living in a culture that is more self-centered than ever before. Everywhere you look, from movies to advertisements to self-help books, the emphasis is on doing what makes you happy and fulfilled. While there’s nothing wrong with having dreams and pursuing them, they may not always give you the fulfillment you’re craving. For my wife and I, that was exactly the case. I was so dead set on pursuing my own dreams that we turned our lives upside down so that I could half-heartedly chase them. My dream was to work my way into the family business, make enough money so that my wife could be a stay-at-home…
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How Immersing Yourself in Nature Can Strengthen Your Marriage
As an independent introvert, it’s extremely important for me to find alone time so that I can process my thoughts and feelings. However, I’ve found that too much alone time and solitude can also be a bad thing, especially when it comes to my marriage. It’s easy for me to let my thoughts run wild as I work through real and imaginary problems, often making them worse by internalizing them. Therefore, while alone time is great and rejuvenating, you’re going to have a tough time being in a functional marriage if you and your spouse can’t find an activity that you both love where you can discuss whatever is on…
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Understanding His Boundaries, What Does That Mean?
There are those days when your boyfriend needs to retreat to his shell and then emerge a better and more loving man. It happens sometimes, and you’ve been asking yourself why he’s been doing it. Is it because he’s getting exhausted, or is he hiding something? The answer could be less evil and visible than you would think. You could be dealing with your boyfriend’s boundaries. It sucks to think that he would even place boundaries in your relationship. But they are necessary. Most people did not grow up with adults who communicated healthily and respectfully. Setting healthy boundaries was not exactly something we learned from them. What if setting…
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The Top Things Men Secretly Want in a Relationship
If you are active on social media, you must be confused about what men want from women. The requirements seem as diverse as they are non-inclusive. In addition, what men want seems to be changing every few months. We all want something from a relationship. Women are more vocal about their expectations and needs. They are rarely afraid of asking for what they want from their partners. But it is not to say that women do not have secret desires. Men are a different case. They struggle to be open about what they want in a relationship. Especially if they think it will affect the relationship. So, believe the rumors:…
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Decoding Men’s Words: What He Says vs. What He Really Means
Men are supposed to be simple communicators, like a yes or no questionnaire. What they say is supposed to mean exactly that. Men are supposed to be straightforward in communication. No dropping hints or struggling to express themselves. Good theory, right? Well, the reality goes a little different. If you have ever been in a relationship with a man, you probably know that sometimes, what he says vs what he really means, are siblings, not twins. But wait, there’s a little more to this. Men try not to be complicated by saying what they mean. However, they are not the best at expressing themselves through long texts and deep explanations.…
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Discover His Love Language!
‘Love language’ is something you will hear everyone constantly talk about. But it is not a 2020 phenomenon. No, the concept of the love language goes back to 1992 when Gary Chapman shared his masterpiece ‘The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.’ Years later, this book remains relevant, birthing ‘What is my love language’ quizzes and articles about maximizing your love language. Some pieces even explain the differences between men’s and women’s preferred love languages. It’s fun to discover these things! But it can also help you understand your partner better. That said, what is your boyfriend’s love language? I get it; it’s wild to…
