‘Love language’ is something you will hear everyone constantly talk about. But it is not a 2020 phenomenon. No, the concept of the love language goes back to 1992 when Gary Chapman shared his masterpiece ‘The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.’
Years later, this book remains relevant, birthing ‘What is my love language’ quizzes and articles about maximizing your love language.
Some pieces even explain the differences between men’s and women’s preferred love languages. It’s fun to discover these things! But it can also help you understand your partner better.
That said, what is your boyfriend’s love language?
I get it; it’s wild to think that men have a love language. After all, they are not exactly the best at showing emotions. But as we know, men are pretty good (and bad) at showing their feelings.
So, it can be challenging to determine your man’s love language. But not impossible!
The guide below is for everyone who can’t get their boyfriend to take a ‘What’s my love language’ quiz. It will help you identify how your boyfriend expresses love.
You’ve figured out your love language and probably shared it with him. And now you are curious: what’s his love language? If he’s unwilling to take the quiz, there are super sleuth ways to discover if actions, gifts, or words will play on his heartstrings. Consider the following tips:
Since you are in a relationship, this one will be easy to do. It’s even better if you live together. I know you rarely ask yourself this, but how does he express love towards you? No idea? Then how does it express it towards others?
Is he the type of guy who gives compliments frequently? Is he always inviting you to participate in activities with you? Does he get you small, quirky gifts just because? Is he willing to get up at night to get you some takeout? Or is he a fan of holding hands even when you don’t need to?
Reminiscing about your past interactions is good for your relationship. It puts a smile on your face, and you can even develop a new-found appreciation for him. So, what was he like in those montage-style flashbacks?
Is physical touch his thing? Or is he the guy who says, ‘I adore you’ all the time? If you have a shelf of small but meaningful gifts, then you know it’s receiving gifts.
How he’s expressed love over the years is a hint of how he wants you to show him some love.
Yes, I know; this can be a touchy topic. But if you are going to understand him better, you need to pull out the big guns!
So, when he’s in a good mood, ask him about his past relationships. He may reveal information about their preferences for giving and receiving love from past lovers.
So, drown out all the fun stuff about his ex and listen to what he says about how he was treated.
His anger can tell you a lot about what he prefers as a love language. So even though it is unpleasant and you have an overwhelming urge to get upset, pay attention to how he reacts when he’s upset or frustrated. But what does being angry tell you about his love language?
Well, if he gets upset that you are too busy for him, he probably values quality time. Similarly, if he’s angry because you are not contributing to the house chores, his love language might be acts of service.
Just because he doesn’t say those lovely words every too often does not mean he doesn’t feel all those feelings for you. Some men want to shout their love from the rooftops.
Others are more quiet and intentional at expressing love. If you have a quiet one on your hands, take note of how he communicates. He may reveal something interesting about how he wants to be loved.
No matter how disconnected he seems, there’s always something he looks forward to celebrating. It could be a birthday, anniversary, or even his favorite soccer player’s birthday. Pay attention to how he celebrates those special occasions.
If he prefers a surprise event, then he will feel loved through other acts of service. Was he ecstatic over a quiet night together during your anniversary? Then quality time could be the key to making him feel like he’s the only man in the world.
Alright, you have tried the sneaky methods with no clear answer. And to be honest, you’ve never really asked him. So if you feel comfortable, just ask him!
Chances are he’s heard about love languages and thought it over. Or at least he knows what would make him happy when it comes to your relationship. Also, be ready for the ’why are you asking’ question. Don’t bother with an elaborate lie. Just tell him you want to find new ways to love him!
Finally, when you can’t spot the words of affirmation or acts of service, take him through the love language quiz. There are many ‘What is your love language’ quizzes online that can give you a good idea of what he likes.
Now, you may have a stubborn Steve on your hands, unwilling to take the quiz. But you can go around it by asking him questions randomly and secretly. Just listen to what he has to say and mark those answers for an accurate conclusion.
Crack the love language question and turn up the romance! Whether it’s noticing his celebration style or slyly sliding in love language queries, you’re the detective of devotion, learning to love your boyfriend in a way he will appreciate.
It’s going to make all the difference for your next anniversary or Valentine’s Day. So, dive into the language of love, and let the heart-to-heart conversations begin!
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Waithira Njagi is a seasoned wellness and relationship content writer with nearly a decade of experience. Her passion for helping others navigate the complexities of personal growth and connection shines through in her engaging and insightful writing.
With a knack for distilling complex topics into easily digestible pieces, Waithira's work is geared toward readers seeking guidance and inspiration on their journey to holistic well-being.
When she's not crafting engaging articles, you can find Waithira curled up with a stack of romance novels– always rooting for love to win– or enjoying quality time with her beloved family. Her dedication to spreading love and positivity is evident in everything she creates.
Waithira is here to remind you that life, much like their stories, is a tapestry of connections - to loved ones, and the endless adventures found in books.