Men and Stress
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Journaling for Men: A Simple Guide to Get Started
Life as a guy in your 20s will feel chaotic more than once! In fact, it feels like every day is one crisis after another. You’re juggling work, maybe school, relationships, figuring out who you are, and trying not to completely lose your mind while doing it. So much that you find yourself researching ‘journaling for men.’ And here you are! Good choice! There are days when you’re good—like, “I got this,” good—and then there are those days when it feels like your brain is a web browser with 37 tabs open, and you do not know where the music is playing from. You’ve got stress piling up, thoughts spinning…
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Is Happiness Really That Complicated?
What is happiness and joy? Are these actual concepts we can truly understand, and if so what would be the importance of understanding them? I’ve often compartmentalized these concepts, and wondered if truly understanding them is worth spending mental energy on. After all these are personal emotions that only impact our own person right, or maybe not? I was at a conference several years ago. I had to step outside for a brief moment to take a phone call and on my way back inside I crossed by someone sitting just outside the conference door on a bench, seemingly staring into space. They were literally right by the door so…
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The Importance of Social Fitness For Men
One thing I have noticed is that men love to talk about fitness. They share gym routines, food calendars, protein intake and recipes, and more. Bros always try to get their fellow bros fit and healthy. The only fitness guys rarely pay attention to is social fitness for men. But I get it. Social fitness is not something that comes up during social interaction. It’s not like someone will ask you how social you have been and if you are spending enough time with your family or friends. But maybe we should. Social fitness for men is just as important as physical fitness—maybe even more if you consider the effects…
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What Is a Wellness Group, and Do You Need One?
In the not-so-distant past, men were expected to be strong enough to overcome any mental health issue or weakness alone, or at least cover it up, and not complain about it. There was (and sometimes still is) a stigma when it comes to men and emotional support. As a result, many men experienced mental health disorders like depression, thought disturbances, and behavioral issues without any outlet for reprieve. In the modern age, opinions are slowly changing, and support channels are becoming far more available to men. Aside from wellness intensive outpatient programs, primary care physicians, and inpatient treatment, men’s wellness groups are growing to meet the needs of men and…
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Why We Men Need Alone Time: Hint…It’s NOT You
Sometimes it feels like life is moving too fast, and I’m just trying to keep up. I’ve come to realize that to keep my sanity, alone time is essential for me, and probably for all humans. It’s not about pushing anyone away or escaping from the people we love. Alone time is about recharging, reflecting, and reconnecting with ourselves. So here, I want to explore and explain why we men need alone time, and why it’s a vital part of our mental health. It’s a busy world out there… Firstly, let’s talk about the hustle and bustle of everyday life. From dawn till dusk, it’s like we’re running a marathon…
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Stress Management Techniques for Men in High-Pressure Work Environments
High-pressure situations are challenging, especially at work. It can cause the strongest of men to break down. Take the story of the Challenger Space Shuttle disaster in 1986. I’ve heard this story thousands of times, sometimes from motivational speakers, other times from friends and family. Seems the story has many lessons. So, I’ll share one of my own! On January 28, 1986, the Challenger came apart. It happened just 73 seconds into its flight…horrible; even the Titanic managed to sail 4 days before disaster hit. When the Challenger broke apart, it resulted in the tragic deaths of all seven team members. The disaster was caused by the failure of something…
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Interdependence in Relationships: Maintaining Your Individuality in a Partnership
A romantic relationship with a codependent person is the epitome of the “old ball and chain adage.” I think it’s safe to say that most of us look for red flags in this area, as we don’t want to lose our autonomy. However, in romantic endeavors, we need to let our guard down a bit to create real emotional connections. So, is there a way to balance this out? Can we be intimate with someone— give them our all— without losing our identity? This concept —in a nutshell— is what relationship gurus call interdependence. It’s the sweet spot where you know your partner is your ride-or-die, but also, you don’t…
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What I’ve Learned About Men’s Attachment Wounds As A Therapist
We all have an underlying core need for connection and intimacy. While fluid, the attachments we form early on with our caregivers affect our capacity for this, setting the stage for our adult relationships. Attachment Theory describes the adaptation of attachment patterns, based on our caregivers’ responses to our emotional needs in infancy and childhood. If our primary caregivers were predictable in showing up for us– loving, attuned and responsive to our emotional needs– we are likely to develop safety and security in our attachments. However, if our experience was that of inconsistency, lack of emotional attunement, and in meeting our needs, we are more likely to develop insecurity in…
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Navigating Stress in Relationships: Tips for Men
When you are outside looking in, relationships often look like a fairytale. There are inside jokes, someone to go places with, someone you can laugh with– it’s intoxicating. Loving and having someone to love is a good thing. But relationships are more than just kisses and hugs. If there is one thing I could tell men who just got into a relationship, it is that you will get stressed. Your partner will stress you. Arguments will stress you. Your feelings will stress you. The fear that you are doing something wrong will stress you. But listen, it’s normal. Every man gets stressed from being in a relationship. Stress in relationships…
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Burnout to Bounty: Confessions of a De-Motivated Dad Struggling Amid Chaos
Motivation after overcoming burnout has been a real struggle for me this past year, and that’s not something I normally struggle with. Let me explain why. During the past year, COVID has affected my wife and seven children on two separate occasions, just as I was about to launch a new coaching course and scale my marketing business. We were hit with wave upon wave of illness for over five months. After recovering from COVID twice, my elder daughters brought a new chest infection into the house from university, followed by a stomach bug, and then another round of chest infections. January through June was a blur of boiling kettles…
