Why We Men Need Alone Time: Hint…It’s NOT You

Sometimes it feels like life is moving too fast, and I’m just trying to keep up. I’ve come to realize that to keep my sanity, alone time is essential for me, and probably for all humans. It’s not about pushing anyone away or escaping from the people we love. Alone time is about recharging, reflecting, and reconnecting with ourselves. So here, I want to explore and explain why we men need alone time, and why it’s a vital part of our mental health.

It’s a busy world out there…

Firstly, let’s talk about the hustle and bustle of everyday life. From dawn till dusk, it’s like we’re running a marathon with no finish line in sight. We humans juggle work, relationships, responsibilities, and expectations. It’s exhausting! Amidst all this chaos, alone time becomes our sanctuary. It’s like a breath of fresh air in a crowded room.

We’re supposed to be tough…

Then there’s the pressure of being strong, dependable, and stoic. Society often expects men to be the pillars of strength, never showing vulnerability or weakness. But behind closed doors, we’re human too. We have fears, insecurities, and doubts gnawing at us. Alone time gives us the space to confront these inner demons without the fear of judgment. It’s where we can let our guard down, where we can be raw and unfiltered with ourselves.

Alone time keeps us from snapping…

While it can be viewed as escapism by some partners or family members, taking a reasonable amount of time, after or before work, to gather ourselves, is a way to protect our families. When we come home tired and frustrated, only to be overwhelmed immediately by the needs of the house, men have a tendency to be easily aggravated. This can cause silly fights and unnecessary harsh words. That’s not good for anyone involved. If taking a few minutes to unwind in the driveway before going in can prevent all-out war, it’s worth it.

Now, I’m not saying my day has been more stressful than my wife’s. Women juggle the social burden of keeping a tidy home while working a full-time job and caring for their partners. They shoulder most of the responsibility for bearing and raising kids in a lot of families too. If you have kids, your wife needs to use the bathroom without little fingers under the door or a little person in her bath. I’m an advocate of alone time and space for everyone! I totally believe my wife needs time to think too, and I try to give her that…even if I have to almost force her to take a break.

In a relationship, it’s never fair to demand something from your spouse or kids that you aren’t willing to give back in return!

So…how does it work?

For most men, alone time is about getting lost in anything but work. We generally choose something that occupies our minds and bodies and allows us to think about nothing.

I like to go to the driving range or out on the golf course, with just me and my clubs. There’s something about the wide-open spaces that rejuvenates me.

Video games offer a thrilling escape, transporting some men to virtual worlds where they can conquer challenges and master skills. It’s a time to shut off the brain from thinking about everyday life.

Fishing and hunting are more than just hobbies for many men; they’re cherished moments of solitude and reflection. When we’re out on the water with our fishing rods or deep in the woods with our hunting gear, surrounded by the beauty of nature, we find peace.

Even the playing field…

When I get home, I feel refreshed, so I cook dinner, send my wife for a bath, or clean up around the house. Taking a short time to myself changes my mentality, helping me be a more attentive and less-selfish husband. I highly advise that you do not plan your alone time when something important is going on with the family. This is not an excuse to neglect duties. I also discourage returning from your cave time and taking a nap in the recliner. This is unsafe!

To the partners out there, I know it might seem like your guy is pushing you away when he craves alone time. You might even think he’s a selfish jerk. But please understand, it’s not about you. He’s probably not just being selfish either. Recharging our batteries is a preventative measure so that we can be better partners, better fathers, and better friends.

Find your solitude…

There’s something inherently therapeutic about solitude. It’s during these moments of aloneness that we can reflect on our lives, our choices, and our goals. It’s a chance to hit the pause button and evaluate where we stand in the grand scheme of things. If you’re finding yourself stressed out, dreading going home, or fighting with your spouse and children too much. Try instituting some caving time! It might be just what your whole family is craving!

Why It’s Smart for Men to Have Time Alone

From dealing with stress to keeping our autonomy, there are several reasons your man may seem to be ignoring you. We’re not. We just need alone time!

My very social wife has often accused me of ignoring her, spacing out, or feeling distant in our marriage. It’s not something I do on purpose or even consciously. The fact is that “spacing out” is how I, and many other men, find room to think. Alone time for men is usually not about ignoring our partners and has nothing to do with how we feel about you. There are a myriad of reasons men retreat, ranging from stress relief to a need for autonomy. To read the full article and more by Ryan, check out BefunBeKind.com!

About Author

Ryan is a professional travel and relationship writer, originally out of Arkansas. Educated as a health and physical education teacher, he sold all his possessions, uprooted, and went on sabbatical in 2020 to go exploring! He's spent the last four years traveling the world, living and working in more than forty countries. At his side, is his wife of 19 years and fellow travel writer, Abby. Aside from being a sports fanatic and Jesus lover, he's uncle extraordinaire to 14 of the greatest creations on Earth. His passion is sharing cultural finds and encouraging men to experience a more fulfilling life by loving, serving, and understanding their partners better. Ryan is often published on Adventures From Scratch where he shares his relationship advice and family adventure tips, and on Let's Roam, where he details his travel experiences. You can find more from Ryan on he and his wife's YouTube Channel- LostAmongLocals.

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