Building Strong Friendships: The Power of Talking Among Guys

Men have no problem communicating with each other… wait, that’s women. Women love to talk with their friends. That’s why girls’ trips, dates, and brunches can take the whole day.

Women are more comfortable sharing with trusted friends, which is more than I can say for men. Men are more reserved when it comes to communicating, even with fellow men. So, what’s the story behind this?

Like most things, it often comes down to gender norms and societal expectations.

The upbringing of many men revolved around strength and showing no vulnerability. Naturally, this meant hiding emotions and weaknesses from women and, most importantly, fellow men.

So it is rare to find a man going into a deep, meaningful conversation with their fellow bro. But it could be what’s missing for building even stronger male friendships.

When people say communication is important in relationships, they assume it’s romantic relationships. But in the same way you could break up with a significant other because of miscommunication; your friendship could end because you did not talk.

Communication among guy friends is a good way to create stronger friendships. And who knows, it could reveal more about your friends than you knew.

In this article, I explain the importance of communicating among guy friends. In addition, I will share strategies to help you talk more with your friends without crossing boundaries or making it ‘weird.’

Why Not Talking Can Affect Male Friendships

Many men claim they don’t need to talk to their guy friends to feel close. The other half claims to talk every-once-in-a-while, but I’m not sure that’s going to lead to a fruitful friendship. A communication gap among male friends can have negative effects such as:

Distancing

When you fail to communicate openly with your friends, it is only a matter of time before you start to feel distant from each other. You grow apart when you don’t talk, catch up, or share problems. This can weaken your friendship until he becomes someone you used to have a beer with.

Misunderstanding

What happens when you do not understand your friend’s thoughts or feelings? Misunderstanding, of course! If you cannot talk to your friends about what bothers you or share some of your values (and vice versa), it becomes easy to misunderstand their actions.

No Emotional Connection

Yes, men can and should have emotional connections with their male friends. It is important to help your friend understand and share your experiences. But it is only possible if you talk to them, open up, and allow them to respond and share.

Avoiding Issues

Friends fight sometimes; it is an important step in having deeper bonds. But this fighting often occurs if you are brave enough to bring up issues and strive to resolve them.

When men avoid talking to their male friends about issues in the friendship, they avoid conflict. It seems good but only allows the problems to grow and have a better chance of ending the friendship.

Limited Support

Friends are a support system during tough times. And it especially shows among friend groups open enough to share things. Men have trouble showing vulnerability.

So it is unlikely to find them sharing difficulties with their male friends. But this lack of communication means your friends cannot offer support during your time of need and vice versa.

Little Personal Growth

A big part of friendship that many often don’t appreciate enough is helping each other grow. You could learn a lot by sharing opinions, advice, challenges, or even simply talking.

Many people change their perspectives, see the bigger picture, and approach life differently just by talking with their friends. You can miss out on that when you do not have open and honest communication with your friends.

Tips for Effective Communication with Male Friends

Men have much to learn from how women talk with their friends. There is trust, openness, and a lot of sharing. But of course, I’m not asking you to talk like women do.

Bonding among men differs significantly, so why shouldn’t communication? No, you do not have to call your best bro daily or share if you do not feel comfortable. You just need to adjust how you talk and, perhaps, have a few more inclusive topics. Let’s start with listening.

Active Listening

Many of us listen to respond. In fact, chances are you already have a response ready by the time your interlocutor is mid-sentence. Some get so excited to answer they can’t wait for their friends to finish talking.

As you can tell, this is not listening. So, while you think you participated in a conversation, you have yet to understand what the other person was saying.

This behavior is quite common among men, whether talking to their friends or significant others. But you need to listen to understand your friends and create deeper connections. Learning to be an active listener as a man is a good way to enhance your communication skills.

When you actively listen to your friends, you can understand their perspectives, values, fears, concerns, and opinions.

In addition, active listening allows you to focus on your friend’s nonverbal cues, such as body language, posture, gestures, and facial expressions.

These cues provide valuable information about what your friend is actually feeling or too afraid to say. This way, you can plan a response that contributes to the conversation, makes them feel heard, or simply makes sense.

In active listening, maintain eye contact to show your friend you are present. Putting your phone away is a good way to avoid distractions and help you stay focused on the conversation.

Additionally, you could summarize your friend’s words before responding.

Try saying something like, ‘so let me get this straight’ or ‘so what you are saying is.’ This strategy ensures you understand what they mean and plan a response to add to the conversation.

Be Honest

Men are great at deflecting serious situations. Guys could be in a scary accident, but the second they all confirm nobody was hurt, the jokes start flying and will never stop.

It can be good to lie and laugh off a situation like this. But in some cases, it is best to be honest. This applies to communicating with your friends.

So when you get to talk with the guys, you need to be honest about your views and feelings. Be ready to be truthful about what you say, even if it is painful or not what would conventionally be said in a conversation between men.

Using ‘I’ statements is key to taking responsibility for emotions or opinions and expressing them genuinely. And while you are taking responsibility, be willing to admit mistakes openly.

Stick to the facts and avoid exaggeration, as it can easily lead to lying. Because you appreciate clear and concise messages, communicate this way with your male friends; they will also appreciate it.

But while you strive to be honest, it is also good to be considerate. Think about how your words will affect your friends. The truth does not always have to hurt, so be tactful even when you are honest.

The best thing about being honest with your friends as you talk to them is that they may be encouraged to be the same. Especially if you encourage feedback and take it well.

Your friends will realize that conversing with you is safe and will be willing to be more open and honest in their communication.

Avoid Passing Judgment

We pass judgment on our friends without even knowing it sometimes. It happens even when we are having innocent conversations with friends. But now that you have encouraged your fellow man to be more open about his thoughts and opinions, you cannot pass judgment for a few reasons.

First, he may not mean what you think he means. It is easy to get lines crossed or interpret statements wrong. So passing judgment based on what you understood could be wrong. If you disagree, it is always best to ask for clarification before sharing your opinion.

Another reason why passing judgment is bad is that you could hurt them. Perhaps he shared something close and personal. Being judgemental about it will undoubtedly hurt him.

And what happens when a man is hurt? He becomes defensive, unresponsive, and closed off. You will have lost a valuable dynamic that will take time to earn back.

So what can you do to avoid judging your friends during a conversation? First, always try to put yourself in their situation to understand where they are coming from. It makes it less likely for judgment to cloud your understanding. Remind yourself to let him finish before making conclusions.

In addition, never make assumptions about your friend’s intentions or motivations. If you feel like you are, ask for clarification. Open-mindedness is another good way to avoid judgment.

Men are not known for being open-minded. But you should challenge that norm to communicate better with your friends.

Remember, they have diverse experiences and beliefs, just like you. So it is okay for them to see things differently. And finally, be careful about what your body language is saying.

Gestures, tone, and other non-verbal cues reveal a lot about your attitude. So avoid eye-rolling, sighing, or frowning when your friend is talking.

Building And Maintaining Strong Male Friendships

Embracing the value of talking is key to creating deeper connections that withstand the test of time. The hesitation among men to engage in meaningful conversations with their male friends can lead to detrimental consequences.

By following these communication tips, men can create and maintain friendships that have a deep connection. So, let’s break the silence, encourage authentic conversations, and build stronger connections among men for deeper friendships.