Vulnerability in Men
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Forgiving Yourself: Tips for Men Struggling with Being Sorry
Forgiving yourself; now that’s something I know many people struggle with. If you are anything like me, you have an easier time letting go of what people did to you than forgiving what you think you may have done wrong to yourself. Everyone receives mercy; they made a mistake, and that’s fine. But you’re different. You hold yourself to an impossible standard, beating yourself for whatever you did, focusing solely on that mistake, and questioning why you did it. Sounds familiar? That rabbit hole is tight, so you will get stuck. Men seem to need help coming out of it the most. They tend to get stuck on their mistakes,…
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Male Loneliness: Why Aren’t Today’s Men Making Friends?
Friendships are a cornerstone of a fulfilling life, yet many men find making and maintaining close friends particularly challenging as they age. The “friendship recession” is real, and it’s not just about having fewer friends; it’s about the quality and depth of those relationships. Whether you’re fresh out of college or noticing your circle has shrunk over the years of your career, understanding the dynamics of male bonding can transform your social life and stave off the pain of loneliness. In this article, we will cover practical tips to foster meaningful male friendships and insights on navigating the complexities of friendship in modern American life. Why are friendships important? Men…
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Separating In A Relationship: Getting Through It With Pride
Do men talk about getting separated from their partners? With the high rate of divorces, they really should. That, and separating in a relationship, is harder than it sounds. You’re not just about losing a partner; you’re also dealing with changes in your daily routine and social life. Dealing with a separation isn’t about wallowing in sadness or pretending everything is okay. It’s not about stalking your ex or saying bad things about them. Going through separation is about facing the situation and using it as an opportunity to grow stronger emotionally. But how do you go through all of it without losing your pride? Mistakes are bound to happen.…
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How a More Active Approach to Faith Made Me a Better Leader
While it might be a stereotype, I believe there is some truth to the old adage that men aren’t as emotional as women. There are certainly outliers, but on the whole, I’d say it’s harder for us to get in touch with our emotions, and most of us don’t give it much effort. This disconnect with emotion has a tendency to run over into the faith arena too, or at least it does for me. Don’t get me wrong there are times when I do feel that emotional connection to God, but that comes and goes. Does that mean my faith is broken? I used to think so. I used…
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Male Friendships: Why They Are Confusing for Women
I have always found male friendships interesting. Male bonding is nothing like when women get together. When women meet, there’s a lot of sharing, advice-giving, empowerment, and overall satisfaction. When men meet, I see none of those things. They often sit quietly and drink or watch stuff with the occasional comment or joke passed around. Can you call that a friendship? Well, as crazy as it may sound, yes, you can. The bond of brotherhood is simple yet complex. No, men will not hug and cry together, but they would go to war for each other after being friends for a couple of days, no questions asked! When I’m bored,…
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My Faith Has Faced Challenges, Here’s What I’ve Learned
As societies become more secularized and individuals embrace diverse worldviews, many find themselves questioning or abandoning their faith altogether. As a Christ follower and an international digital nomad, I’ve found myself grappling with unique challenges and uncertainties. Growing up in the Bible Belt surrounded by like-minded friends, family, and communities provided a sense of security and belonging to my faith. However, as I’ve ventured beyond familiar borders and encountered diverse cultures and beliefs, maintaining my faith has become more of a challenge. I never thought it would be, but there’s something about being the outcast that forces you to shine a light on what you believe, to search, and to…
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Male Confidence: How Changing My Approach Changed My Husband
Male confidence is tricky territory! Deeply ingrained societal norms place an enormous burden on men to be invulnerable — a warrior impenetrable to the worries of the world. They’re expected to pull themselves up by the bootstraps, let harsh comments roll off their back, and solve any problems that arise by throwing hands. While some of this mess is finally changing, this was the reality of my husband’s raising. Healthy self-esteem doesn’t come naturally for my fella, and it didn’t take me long as a new wife to realize that much of his confidence was tied up in how he thought I perceived him. A Tale of Two Opposites… I…
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Building Strong Friendships: The Power of Talking Among Guys
Men have no problem communicating with each other… wait, that’s women. Women love to talk with their friends. That’s why girls’ trips, dates, and brunches can take the whole day. Women are more comfortable sharing with trusted friends, which is more than I can say for men. Men are more reserved when it comes to communicating, even with fellow men. So, what’s the story behind this? Like most things, it often comes down to gender norms and societal expectations. The upbringing of many men revolved around strength and showing no vulnerability. Naturally, this meant hiding emotions and weaknesses from women and, most importantly, fellow men. So it is rare to…
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Interdependence in Relationships: Maintaining Your Individuality in a Partnership
A romantic relationship with a codependent person is the epitome of the “old ball and chain adage.” I think it’s safe to say that most of us look for red flags in this area, as we don’t want to lose our autonomy. However, in romantic endeavors, we need to let our guard down a bit to create real emotional connections. So, is there a way to balance this out? Can we be intimate with someone— give them our all— without losing our identity? This concept —in a nutshell— is what relationship gurus call interdependence. It’s the sweet spot where you know your partner is your ride-or-die, but also, you don’t…
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What I’ve Learned About Men’s Attachment Wounds As A Therapist
We all have an underlying core need for connection and intimacy. While fluid, the attachments we form early on with our caregivers affect our capacity for this, setting the stage for our adult relationships. Attachment Theory describes the adaptation of attachment patterns, based on our caregivers’ responses to our emotional needs in infancy and childhood. If our primary caregivers were predictable in showing up for us– loving, attuned and responsive to our emotional needs– we are likely to develop safety and security in our attachments. However, if our experience was that of inconsistency, lack of emotional attunement, and in meeting our needs, we are more likely to develop insecurity in…
