-
Stress Management Techniques for Men in High-Pressure Work Environments
High-pressure situations are challenging, especially at work. It can cause the strongest of men to break down. Take the story of the Challenger Space Shuttle disaster in 1986. I’ve heard this story thousands of times, sometimes from motivational speakers, other times from friends and family. Seems the story has many lessons. So, I’ll share one of my own! On January 28, 1986, the Challenger came apart. It happened just 73 seconds into its flight…horrible; even the Titanic managed to sail 4 days before disaster hit. When the Challenger broke apart, it resulted in the tragic deaths of all seven team members. The disaster was caused by the failure of something…
-
Building Strong Friendships: The Power of Talking Among Guys
Men have no problem communicating with each other… wait, that’s women. Women love to talk with their friends. That’s why girls’ trips, dates, and brunches can take the whole day. Women are more comfortable sharing with trusted friends, which is more than I can say for men. Men are more reserved when it comes to communicating, even with fellow men. So, what’s the story behind this? Like most things, it often comes down to gender norms and societal expectations. The upbringing of many men revolved around strength and showing no vulnerability. Naturally, this meant hiding emotions and weaknesses from women and, most importantly, fellow men. So it is rare to…
-
Why I Intensely Spoil My Wife at the Risk of My Manliness
When people see me “spoiling my wife,” they often raise their eyebrows or crack a joke about my masculinity. It’s a scenario I’ve encountered countless times, particularly from older male family members. Despite the teasing, I continue to elevate my wife’s needs above my own. Why? I’ve come to understand that nurturing a happy marriage goes beyond outdated notions of gender roles. In this modern world, where societal expectations for women have reached an unattainable precedent, we as men have to do better! I’m not trying to toot my own horn here, but I want to stress to others that how you treat your wife not only affects her but…
-
I Married My Polar Opposite… and It Made Me Better
They say “opposites attract,” and in the case of my wife and I, that couldn’t be more true! While our opposing personalities make for some interesting conflicts, marrying my antithesis has been an experience of personal growth for both of us. If you’re dating someone who seems totally foreign to you, or you’ve just realized you’ve married a being from another planet, stick around for a minute. I’ll try to convince you why you should hang in there for the wild ride. A Bit of My Story… I married a woman that…well, as her brother would say…”She’s a pistol.” My wife is afraid of nothing. She’s strong-willed, decisive, and somehow…
-
Interdependence in Relationships: Maintaining Your Individuality in a Partnership
A romantic relationship with a codependent person is the epitome of the “old ball and chain adage.” I think it’s safe to say that most of us look for red flags in this area, as we don’t want to lose our autonomy. However, in romantic endeavors, we need to let our guard down a bit to create real emotional connections. So, is there a way to balance this out? Can we be intimate with someone— give them our all— without losing our identity? This concept —in a nutshell— is what relationship gurus call interdependence. It’s the sweet spot where you know your partner is your ride-or-die, but also, you don’t…
-
Rules of Fighting Fair: How to Respectfully Argue With Your Partner
In a perfect world, you and your significant other would never fight, but that’s not reality. It’s normal and real to argue from time to time, but it also doesn’t have to get ugly. Couples are bound to face challenges that spark disagreements. Navigating these conflicts with mutual respect is the key to maintaining a healthy and strong connection. In a mature relationship, both parties need to be able to express negative feelings fruitfully. Having rules for fighting fair is essential and can transform disagreements into opportunities for growth and understanding. By embracing the principles of fighting fair, couples can not only solve issues but also foster a deeper understanding…
-
Balancing Work and Well-being: A Guide for Men
Men should work, or at least that’s what society has been pushing since the male species first went out hunting. People often expect men to be strong, provide for their families, and work hard. Unfortunately, what people expect of men can lead to stress, which is bad for their overall well-being. Think about Vincent van Gogh, a guy who spent his whole life making beautiful art. He made lots of unique paintings, but at what cost? His commitment to work, no matter how inspiring and passionate, affected his mental health. Why? Well, because he could not master work-life balance. And many modern men are like Van Gogh, focusing so profoundly…
-
What I’ve Learned About Men’s Attachment Wounds As A Therapist
We all have an underlying core need for connection and intimacy. While fluid, the attachments we form early on with our caregivers affect our capacity for this, setting the stage for our adult relationships. Attachment Theory describes the adaptation of attachment patterns, based on our caregivers’ responses to our emotional needs in infancy and childhood. If our primary caregivers were predictable in showing up for us– loving, attuned and responsive to our emotional needs– we are likely to develop safety and security in our attachments. However, if our experience was that of inconsistency, lack of emotional attunement, and in meeting our needs, we are more likely to develop insecurity in…
-
The Importance of Being on the Same Page While Parenting
In addition to getting married and becoming a husband, being a parent is the most important role you will ever have. Whether you planned to have a child or not, they’re here, and you had better get used to it. There are a ton of things you need to worry about in the early days of parenthood. On top of the day-to-day worries, you also need to decide what your parenting style is going to be. This includes things like how you plan to discipline your child, screen time, dietary choices, and much more. Although my wife and I are still in the early stages of parenthood, we made the…
-
Navigating Stress in Relationships: Tips for Men
When you are outside looking in, relationships often look like a fairytale. There are inside jokes, someone to go places with, someone you can laugh with– it’s intoxicating. Loving and having someone to love is a good thing. But relationships are more than just kisses and hugs. If there is one thing I could tell men who just got into a relationship, it is that you will get stressed. Your partner will stress you. Arguments will stress you. Your feelings will stress you. The fear that you are doing something wrong will stress you. But listen, it’s normal. Every man gets stressed from being in a relationship. Stress in relationships…
